Husband of One Wife

“²Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, ³not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.” – 1 Timothy 3:2-3 (ESV)

Here we go. There is debate on the views expressed here with regard to the “one wife” requirement. Where the rest of the requirements are pretty clear and decisive, that one can and is a bit confusing. After looking into it through the commentary in my ESV Bible, I see that there are a few different views. (1) Not unfaithful in marriage, (2) not a polygamist, and (3) never had more than one wife. All of these are certainly views that could be referenced in some context, but one thing holds true that I see, only “one wife” at a time.

It is not lost on my about the context of the verses being surrounding the “overseer” of the church. But I would state that regardless of the position of the man, the characteristics are those that are good and right for the Christian man, and the role of husband from God and we should adhere to that role.

“²⁴Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24 (ESV)

See that the first marriage of Adam and Eve was between the man and woman. See the word “wife” and notice that it is singular and that they become “one flesh”. Out of the two of them, they become one. Not out of the multiples, but distinctly the two of them. Therefore, it is only “one wife” as noted by Paul in his letter to Timothy. We should not look at this as a quality to be an “overseer” of the Church, but as a follower of Christ and a good man and husband.

The debate as to what is meant by “husband of one wife” is just that, a debate. The thing we should remember is that we are devoted to our wife and be with her fully and completely as Christ does with the Church. We are not to be distracted by multiple things at once. We are to focus on the one who completes us as one flesh and be devoted to her only. We are to be the “husband of one wife”.

What does “husband of one wife” look like to you? Are you with the one in front of you at the moment? What if you were to devote yourself to the one who completes you as one flesh so as not to be distracted by others and can love her to the fullest as Christ does with the Church?