Husbands “Rule” Over Your Wife?

This morning I begin a new study on the word “husband” as I have been in the family realm for some time now first with “wife”, then “home”, and then “family”. It is only good process to make my way through all members of the family as I study. This first one was a bit tough as I find myself looking at “the fall” from grace in the beginning. God created man and woman to be husband and wife. And what he created was “very good” indeed. And then He allowed them to be tested by Satan. And whereas it was woman or the wife who succumbed to the temptation first, both of them took part and fell out of grace together. And that is where we are now.

“¹⁶To the woman he said,

“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;

in pain you shall bring forth children.

Your desire shall be contrary to your husband,

but he shall rule over you.”

— Genesis 3:16 (ESV)

This verse is the one I am going to spend my focus on for the purpose of this post. The rest of “the fall” are important to know, but is here that I am writing about. You see, it is that last pat of the verse that really gets things in me this morning, “Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.”

As noted earlier, God created man and woman to be husband and wife and it was “very good”. Here we see that due to sin and “the fall”, husband and wife will be at odds. Where the wife was to submit to her husband and husband to lead, guard, and care for his wife (ESV commentary), it is now that wife will be at odds with her husband and husband will “rule” over his wife. This is not as God intended.

As husband I am not to “rule over” my wife. Yes, I am to be head of the household and am to be revered by my wife, I am not to “rule over” her, I am to love and care for her.

“²⁵Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, ²⁶that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, ²⁷so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” – Ephesians 5:25-27 (ESV)

We can see that Paul teaches for man to come back and work to defeat the results of “the fall”. We as husbands are not to “rule over” our wives, we are to love them, cleanse them, present them without “spot or wrinkle” so they “might be holy and without blemish”. We are, as noted earlier from my ESV commentary of Genesis 3:16, to lead, guard, and care for them. We are to make it they are lifted up and in the proper place of importance to us and to the LORD.

Yes, we were meant to be the head of our household, but it is just that the head of the household and not ruler of it. We were not created to “rule over”, but to lead, guard, and care. We were meant to be the husband, not the king. Thanks to “the fall” we are naturally at odds with our wives and we have to get back to what God intended. As we stay in God’s Word, we find continued reminders of what God intended and it is up to us to study and know of our role as husbands, to lead, guard, and care for our wives.

What is your view of the husband? Are they to be the ruler of all, including their wife? What if we looked more closely to find that we are to lead, guard, and care for our wives and not “rule over” them?

Do We Really Want to Reign

What a great question, and one that I can identify with. It seems as though what I see from “leaders” in this world is not really something that I would want to do or be. I will say that I am leader in my house and in my role in my work. Yet, what I see in “leaders” in the world is not what I expect. And, frankly, when I am in the New Heaven and New Earth, I am told that I will be able to rest, being a leader does not seem like rest.

“²⁸Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28 (ESV)

Yes, Jesus says the above, and if you only look a the one verse, you will get the sense that rest is indeed what we will have. But we would be looking at things from a very narrow perspective.

Think of it this way. What is it that you like to do more than anything else and you seem to get lost in yourself and that thing to the tune that time seems to pass quickly. You may be completely worn out at the end of the time, but you look forward to that thing again and again and again. This is the idea that if you love what you do, it is not work. You find joy in the actions and want to do them more and more.

Well, this is what it will be like in the New Heaven and New Earth. I will be focused on the joy of God that whatever role I am tasked to take on will be glorious and I will find much joy in it. It will be light work from the perspective of on my soul. It may have difficulty in the task, but it will bring joy that I am working for the LORD. See below the next two verses from Jesus.

“²⁹Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:29-30 (ESV)

Jesus tells us that when we are in with Him, all things will be lighter since He has taken the heavy load upon Himself.

Reigning in the New Heaven and New Earth will not be a burden. We will be doing so from a position of the “family business” as Randy Alcorn indicates in my study. And since we are in the family of God, we are rulers with Him and each other.

But what about the challenges that come with ruling? A truly valid question. Well, there will not be any. Why you say. As we are all there to do the will of God, only need someone to direct us of where and what. Remember, there is no sin in the New Heaven. There won’t be any animosity. There won’t be any push back. There won’t be any insubordination. There will only be getting the work done in worship to the LORD so we can get back to worship of the LORD.

But, I don’t want people to be telling me what to do. I hear you, and that will not be the case. We will be receiving direction not orders. We will know of what needs to be done, and there will be someone there to direct us as to where it is to be done. And we will be directing others of where.

The New Heaven and New Earth will be filled with rulers (us) and filled with subjects (us). “We’ll be governed by Christlike rulers, and all of us will be under the grand and gracious government of Christ Himself” – Randy Alcorn

What view do you have of ruling? Are you of the school of slave driving authoritarians? What if you embraced ruling in the New Heaven and New Earth as doing that thing that brings you joy, bringing glory to God?

So, We Will Reign with Christ?

In short, YES.

“²⁸And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.’” – Genesis 1:28 (ESV)

Here we go. We, as man, were always supposed to reign and rule on the earth. God created man in His own image to have dominion over all on the earth. But, Adam and Eve failed, falling into sin thanks to the evil one and his deception. Adam and Eve were to be the king and queen of earth and they did not make it.

Then, God sent Jesus to demonstrate to the world, how it was supposed to play out. Jesus reigned on the earth in the way that God intended. He loved and cared and protected and healed in this world showing His dominion. And then He died giving us the path back to righteousness. Jesus reigned in this world, and died to show us the way back to where we would again reign.

How is it that we do not see that we will reign over the New Earth? Well, I don’t know the answer to that, other than I am blinded by the sin in my life and know that it is one of the tactics of the evil one. What I can say is that when we turn to the Word of God, we will find the truth throughout. Whether introduced, mentioned, discussed, and repeated, there are many places where we will find what our role is and will be in the New Earth.

“³Do you not know that we are to judge angels? How much more, then, matters pertaining to this life!” – 1 Corinthians 6:3 (ESV)

Here in Paul’s letter, he makes it clear that we will be reigning and ruling in the New Earth over all. We will be returned to out place of dominion that we lost with the fall. Jesus provided us the way back to our rightful created place in God’s Kingdom. We will indeed reign with Him forever.

“⁵And night will be no more. They will need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be their light, and they will reign forever and ever.” – Revelation 22:5 (ESV)

What do you think about reigning? Are you of the thought that you will simply be a subject in the Kingdom? What if you review God’s Word and know that not only will you be a member of the Kingdom of God, but you will be returned to the place of dominion that you were intended for?