Husbands “Rule” Over Your Wife?

This morning I begin a new study on the word “husband” as I have been in the family realm for some time now first with “wife”, then “home”, and then “family”. It is only good process to make my way through all members of the family as I study. This first one was a bit tough as I find myself looking at “the fall” from grace in the beginning. God created man and woman to be husband and wife. And what he created was “very good” indeed. And then He allowed them to be tested by Satan. And whereas it was woman or the wife who succumbed to the temptation first, both of them took part and fell out of grace together. And that is where we are now.

“¹⁶To the woman he said,

“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;

in pain you shall bring forth children.

Your desire shall be contrary to your husband,

but he shall rule over you.”

— Genesis 3:16 (ESV)

This verse is the one I am going to spend my focus on for the purpose of this post. The rest of “the fall” are important to know, but is here that I am writing about. You see, it is that last pat of the verse that really gets things in me this morning, “Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.”

As noted earlier, God created man and woman to be husband and wife and it was “very good”. Here we see that due to sin and “the fall”, husband and wife will be at odds. Where the wife was to submit to her husband and husband to lead, guard, and care for his wife (ESV commentary), it is now that wife will be at odds with her husband and husband will “rule” over his wife. This is not as God intended.

As husband I am not to “rule over” my wife. Yes, I am to be head of the household and am to be revered by my wife, I am not to “rule over” her, I am to love and care for her.

“²⁵Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, ²⁶that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, ²⁷so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” – Ephesians 5:25-27 (ESV)

We can see that Paul teaches for man to come back and work to defeat the results of “the fall”. We as husbands are not to “rule over” our wives, we are to love them, cleanse them, present them without “spot or wrinkle” so they “might be holy and without blemish”. We are, as noted earlier from my ESV commentary of Genesis 3:16, to lead, guard, and care for them. We are to make it they are lifted up and in the proper place of importance to us and to the LORD.

Yes, we were meant to be the head of our household, but it is just that the head of the household and not ruler of it. We were not created to “rule over”, but to lead, guard, and care. We were meant to be the husband, not the king. Thanks to “the fall” we are naturally at odds with our wives and we have to get back to what God intended. As we stay in God’s Word, we find continued reminders of what God intended and it is up to us to study and know of our role as husbands, to lead, guard, and care for our wives.

What is your view of the husband? Are they to be the ruler of all, including their wife? What if we looked more closely to find that we are to lead, guard, and care for our wives and not “rule over” them?

My Authority, God’s Word

God’s Word is not just a book we pick up from time to time to read a few passages to get us through. It is and should be the ultimate authority in our life. We should be looking to and living out the instructions found in God’s Word in all situations.

It is easy to pick and choose different passages when we “need” them or to “justify” some action that we have taken or are considering. But, if we are cherry picking passages we are not really obeying God’s Word as the authority it is. We are simply using God’s Word and not living it.

God’s Word is more than a collection of actions we can take to relieve some ailing we have. It is not just a collection of positive reinforcement actions to keep us moving in the right direction. God’s Word is a way of going through life at all times.

I am over 50 years old and see the value of God’s Word for my daily life. I study or am led in God’s Word seven days a week. I look for how His Word can lead me in life. I look for how I can apply His teachings daily. I know that God’s Word can do all things in my life. His Word accomplished all things and will accomplish all things. By full faith in His Word there is nothing that cannot be done.

“⁸But the centurion replied, ‘Lord, I am not worthy to have you come under my roof, but only say the word, and my servant will be healed.’” – Matthew 8:8 (ESV)

The centurion from the passage above knew that Jesus only need to speak healing to happen. He knew that Jesus was the authority and that as God, His Word would do as spoken. The centurion understood the authority that was God’s Word.

“¹²For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” – Hebrews 4:12 (ESV)

I have to have the faith that God’s Word will do all things. It is not just there for me to pick up when “needed”. God’s Word should be in my bones and leading my every move. I have to lean on the authority of God’s Word to point me and guide me and lead me and protect me as I move along in this world.

What is your relationship to God’s Word? Are you using it to pick and choose how it can help you? What if you were to lean on God’s Word for all things and used it as your authority to point you, guide you, lead you, and protect you as you go along?

Do We Really Want to Reign

What a great question, and one that I can identify with. It seems as though what I see from “leaders” in this world is not really something that I would want to do or be. I will say that I am leader in my house and in my role in my work. Yet, what I see in “leaders” in the world is not what I expect. And, frankly, when I am in the New Heaven and New Earth, I am told that I will be able to rest, being a leader does not seem like rest.

“²⁸Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28 (ESV)

Yes, Jesus says the above, and if you only look a the one verse, you will get the sense that rest is indeed what we will have. But we would be looking at things from a very narrow perspective.

Think of it this way. What is it that you like to do more than anything else and you seem to get lost in yourself and that thing to the tune that time seems to pass quickly. You may be completely worn out at the end of the time, but you look forward to that thing again and again and again. This is the idea that if you love what you do, it is not work. You find joy in the actions and want to do them more and more.

Well, this is what it will be like in the New Heaven and New Earth. I will be focused on the joy of God that whatever role I am tasked to take on will be glorious and I will find much joy in it. It will be light work from the perspective of on my soul. It may have difficulty in the task, but it will bring joy that I am working for the LORD. See below the next two verses from Jesus.

“²⁹Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:29-30 (ESV)

Jesus tells us that when we are in with Him, all things will be lighter since He has taken the heavy load upon Himself.

Reigning in the New Heaven and New Earth will not be a burden. We will be doing so from a position of the “family business” as Randy Alcorn indicates in my study. And since we are in the family of God, we are rulers with Him and each other.

But what about the challenges that come with ruling? A truly valid question. Well, there will not be any. Why you say. As we are all there to do the will of God, only need someone to direct us of where and what. Remember, there is no sin in the New Heaven. There won’t be any animosity. There won’t be any push back. There won’t be any insubordination. There will only be getting the work done in worship to the LORD so we can get back to worship of the LORD.

But, I don’t want people to be telling me what to do. I hear you, and that will not be the case. We will be receiving direction not orders. We will know of what needs to be done, and there will be someone there to direct us as to where it is to be done. And we will be directing others of where.

The New Heaven and New Earth will be filled with rulers (us) and filled with subjects (us). “We’ll be governed by Christlike rulers, and all of us will be under the grand and gracious government of Christ Himself” – Randy Alcorn

What view do you have of ruling? Are you of the school of slave driving authoritarians? What if you embraced ruling in the New Heaven and New Earth as doing that thing that brings you joy, bringing glory to God?