Tag: Change

Know and Adjust to Your Wife

People get along with people that are like them, and with those that are not like them, there is continued strife in the relationship.

“15A continual dripping on a rainy day

and a quarrelsome wife are alike;

16to restrain her is to restrain the wind

or to grasp oil in one’s right hand.”

— Proverbs 27:15-16 (ESV)

Here we see that it is not good to be in constant quarrel with your wife. And if we are honest, we knew it was coming early in the relationship, right? We know who she is and how she will react and interact in situations. There is no surprise as we get further into the relationship as to who she is. And likewise, no surprises as to who we are either.

All of the above said and known, there are some adjustments that will need to be made in our relationship to work for one of mutual love, respect, and understanding. I know who my wife Lori is and find myself adjusting to her continually. I love her dearly and know that she loves me as well, but we are not the same and therefor have to adjust to one another to get the most out of our relationship.

I am not able to change her, so I am the one who has to change. I have to make moves to be more like her to ensure that there is continuity in the relationship. I have to make changes to who I am with her so that she will see that we are indeed on the same side and moving the same direction. When things are best, she likewise makes an adjustment to who I am, but that is not a requirement of my adjustment to her.

I say often to our boys, when something with Lori is not a little off, “that’s your mother”. And they come back quickly, “that’s your wife, and you chose her, we did not”. Where it is a funny exchange between us, it is so very true. I chose Lori and she chose me. We knew and know who one another is and it is up to us to work together to get the most our of our relationship. Knowing Lori means I am aware of her and am therefor needing to adjust to her to keep our relationship strong.

What do you know about your wife? Is she who you thought she was before your were married? What if you remember who she is and adjust to her to keep the continuity and love in your relationship with her?

God Changes Us Then Makes Us Fruitful

I recently wrote about God making us fruitful. Now that is correct, there is a bit more to it. God does not just make us fruitful, before that He changes us. When I look at the three men God made fruitful in my previous writing, He first changed them. Adam was created, Noah had his life and world turned upside down, and Abram had his name changed by God. All of these where significant changes to the men and then, after the change, God made them fruitful. This continues this morning with Jacob as God changed his name to Israel and then made him fruitful.

‘10And God said to him, ‘Your name is Jacob; no longer shall your name be called Jacob, but Israel shall be your name.’ So he called his name Israel. 11And God said to him, ‘I am God Almighty: be fruitful and multiply. A nation and a company of nations shall come from you, and kings shall come from your own body.’” – Genesis 35:10-11 (ESV)

Now, I want to be careful that changing your name does not get it done in the eyes of God. It is not about the name you have. It is your heart that is where the change takes place and you are then made fruitful. These men all were changed in their lives and at that point they demonstrated to God that they indeed were different. It was not a momentary thing, but something that came about over time. They were truly changed.

Doesn’t that happen with us as well. I know that I have changed a number of times over my years. I was saved, I got married, I had children, I have been studying God’s Word more intently, I have grown content. All of these have certainly made me different over the years. And that is the thing, it has taken years for these changes in me to be realized. It all did not happen in an instant. And neither did the changes for the men discussed above.

I am not saying that God has revealed to me the change and has said I would be fruitful, at least that I am aware (with me it take a sledge hammer to the head). What I am saying is that before we can be fruitful, we have to be changed. We have to do away with the old self and take on the new self and allow God to do the work in our lives to bring us around to the change manifestation. Once we are changed, we will then be made fruitful by God.

What change have you realized in your life? Were you expecting to be fruitful without making or experiencing change? What if you leaned on God, allow Him to change you and then accepted the idea that He will make you fruitful?