“¹Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: ‘It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.’ ⁹But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. ²But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. ⁵Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer, but then comet together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” – 1 Corinthians 7: 1, 9, 2, & 5 (ESV)

I know, these verses are completely out of order as written by Paul. I will admit that when looking at the verses, I was not quite sure what would be the reasoning for my study of these verses as pertains to self-control and me. And then it hit me, maybe it was not meant specifically for me and that was what brought me to write them here in the order at which I did.

Being married for the past almost 24 yrs, I have to say that I love my wife, Lori, and we have a good relationship with one another in all areas of our marriage. It has been a long while since we were separate individuals, and I will say that I for one fell into verse 9 as written where, before we were married, I found it difficult to exercise self-control.

In today’s society, I am very confident when I say that is certainly prevalent for people in relationships to exercise self-control as well. And because of that, there are people marrying based on the emotion found in the relationship and that emotion alone. I have to commend them for taking that approach and following Christian teachings and actions. I will also say that because of the emotional approach to the relationship, there is something missing which causes the relationship to erode over time.

As mentioned by Paul in verse 5, there should be times when we should be apart so that we can “devote yourselves to prayer”. I am sure that this is missing in a great number of these young relationships based on the emotional attachment they have to one another. Spending all of your time with one person is difficult as there is still a need for the individual to express themselves and as such they should be engaged with God to explore what that expression will look like.

We have to be careful with that time away from one another and be sure that the time is not too great that we lose sight of one another and fall prey to the temptations that Satan presents as we are still human and can succumb to our lack of self-control. We have to remember to reconnect with one another often to be sure that our relationship with one another does not erode and we drift apart looking for the next thing to satisfy our emotional need.

I do not claim to be a relationship expert, I can only say that Lori and I have been married for almost 24 years at the writing of this and even though we have had our moments, as I mentioned earlier, we have a pretty healthy relationship altogether. We are still working on it and I encourage you to do the same. I have to remember that to be healthy, I may have to demonstrate my self-control and step away to commune with God on next steps in growing my relationship with Lori.

When you think about your relationships, what are you basing those on? Are you holding to the emotion of that relationship, and what happens when the emotions fade? Are you able to exercise the self-control needed to step away and commune with God for what is next?

“²⁸A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” – Proverbs 25:28 (ESV)

Thinking about how a city, neighborhood, and/or separates and protects itself from the outside is with a wall or fence. This barrier is there to not only separate, but also protects. I know that I see them around the more elite areas and those where others are there to keep someone or something from others.

I now take a look at the scripture above and see how that concept applies to me. In order for me to separate and protect myself from others I need to build walls around me. I have to be able to keep the outside world from infecting me and that is done with my own self-control.

I have been been attacked by others as they do their best to draw me into a fight. And when I have allowed them to get under my skin and affect my emotions, I have played right into their hands and that has led to me being categorized as the one that was out of control and being unreasonable. I let myself go and as such have been exposed to the attack and left myself vulnerable to more people as they see me with my guard down and come in for the attack themselves.

When, by contrast, I have been able to keep my control and simply interact with the others, I come off as being attacked and have had others come to my defense. It is in the cool headed times that I have been able to manage the situations and turn the negative situation into a more open and honest conversation as opposed to the volatile attack it started as.

When I am in control of myself, I am able to defend myself, When I lose control, I seem to be on the defensive without any means of protection or separation. It is up to me to maintain my self-control to separate and protect myself for the attacks of others.

When you are attacked, what is your go to action? Are you one to lose your self-control and attack back? What if you were to maintain you self-control and separate and protect yourself?

As I finish my study today on the word “shine(s)” I am taken to that glorious time of Christ’s return. I have read and watched those that claim to know what the rapture will look and feel like, but I have also remained realistic in “how can they know, they have not experienced it”. I have come to trust that which is from God to lean on Him for information with all things.

“²⁷For as the lightning comes from the east and shines as far as the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man.” – Matthew 24:27 (ESV)

These words come from Christ, and they are where my trust lies. You see, Christ will be coming back in a flash and all will know. He will shine bright for all to see, and those of us that have trusted Him and accepted the gift of salvation will be taken home with Him and those that have not accepted will be left wondering what it was they missed. Either way, we will all see the light that shines that is Christ.

Light shining in the darkness is unmistakable. I am not able to miss the bright headlight of a train coming down the track in the darkness of night. I know that I will not miss the flash of light that is Christ when He returns. I won’t even have to look for it, I will know when He comes. You will know when He returns as well based on His light that shines for all to see.

Will you be aware of what the light that shines on Christ’s return means? Are you going to see and wonder or will you see and rejoice? Christ shines today, and will shine bright for all to see when He returns, will you be prepared for the light that is Christ?

Proverbs 4 in my ESV Bible is titled “A Father’s Wise Instruction”, and it speaks to following the path of righteousness in verse 18.

“¹⁸But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day.” – Proverbs 4:18 (ESV)

I should be seeking and following that path from the time I wake to the full day and beyond. The thing is that I have to be looking for the path in the right place. God provides that path and as my Heavenly Father, there is no better place to get the direction.

As a father myself, it is my duty to make sure that my sons are aware of, and seek to follow the righteous path themselves. I have to be sure and instruct them to look to God for the path they are to take, and avoid those that would maybe be there to lead them down the wrong, wicked, path.

“¹⁶For they cannot sleep unless they have done wrong; they are robbed of sleep unless they have made someone stumble. ¹⁹The way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know over what they stumble.” – Proverbs 4:16 & 19 (ESV)

I, and more certainly God, wants nothing but the best for my sons. In order for them to have that, they have to follow the best path for them, and that path is provided by God and full of light. Those around us, whereas they may be our “friends and family” are not the same friends and family we find in God.

I am grateful for the glory given me by God and the light He shines on the path He has for me. I have only to follow that path to the life that He has for me and I must do all I can to avoid the path of the wicked and the darkness that engulfs that path.

As you walk in the world, are you aware of those that work to take you down the path of the wicked? Will you take a closer look at the path provided by God? Are you willing to work to take the path of the righteous that shines bright?

I remember watching the movie “Shallow Hal” and the lead character of the movie “Hal” was obsessed with the outward beauty of women. He then experiences the inner beauty of a woman and finally falls in love. How often have we to been obsessed with the outer beauty only to discover that beauty to be completely contrary to the character of the individual.

“²Out of Zion, the perfection of beauty, God shines forth.” – Psalm 50:2 (ESV)

God shines when we are looking for Him. I will admit that I am intrigued by the outward beauty of others. I remember having the posters on my wall as a teenager. What I also remember everyday is that all of that is fleeting and the beautiful wife I have, Lori, shines brighter than most of those that grabbed my youthful eyes back then.

I have known Lori since I was in the 9^th grade as she was the step sister of one of my best friends in school. She was beautiful then, but a bit off limits as the sister of a friend. As we grew older, we were did not associate much and when she called me to meet with some friends, I was astonished and quick to say yes. We both had grown and during that time, we had begun looking more for the inner beauty of others and so began out path of growing together.

God understood that I was not ready for the beauty that Lori possessed and therefor He kept us apart until we were ready. His “perfection of beauty” began to shine through. I am blessed to have Lori and all that she brings. I am glad that she can see the beauty in me, because I certainly have my scars and warts from all that I have experienced.

God’s beauty shines daily. He is overtly bright in all that He does. I have to be ready and looking for it each day.

When you are looking at beauty, where are your eyes? Where are you hoping to find beauty? Are you looking for God’s beauty that shines?

“¹⁴for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, ‘Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.’” – Ephesians 5:14 (ESV)

What a great verse to show the love of Christ. Through Paul, He calls on me to wake up, and when I do, He will shine His glory on me. I only need to listen to Him and open my eyes to Him.

The other side is for me to be sure that I am not falling for all of what is found in the darkness. I have to focus on God to be sure and stay away from the darkness.

“¹¹Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. ¹²For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. ¹³But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible,” – Ephesians 5:11-13 (ESV)

Paul writes to show that God calls on me to awake and focus on Him. He also knows that I will be tempted to fall back into the darkness and as such, and Paul explicitly warns against it. It is too easy to say the words and allow my actions to be contrary to those words. Paul knows this and reminds me that actions speak louder than words.

All of this begins with my waking up and letting God shine on me. I have to be diligent in my pursuit of Christ every day and in that pursuit allow His light to shine brightly on me.

When you speak the words of obedience to God, are they just words? What actions are you taking up to demonstrate those words as being true? Are you waking up and letting God shine on you?

I am a sinner and as such my heart is filled with darkness. I am undeserving of the love and glory heaped on me by God.

“⁶For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.” – 2 Corinthians 4:6 (ESV)

It is a wonderful thing that even though I am filled with darkness, God chose to shine light in my heart to overcome that darkness. I have been given another chance at glory thanks to the love and glory heaped on my by God. He chose to shine His light on me, a sinner by birth. And with His light on me, I am reborn into His glory and covered with light inside and out.

Now my role is to not just absorb the light shone on me, but to reflect it outward to those around me. I have a duty to spread the gospel into the dark places and provide a glimpse of that light to those in need so as to open their hearts so that they can receive the light as provided by God. I am but a conduit that accepted the light so as to channel it forward to others.

There is no darkness to deep to accept the light that is God. Even the darkness that is in me.

When you look out, are you able to see the light that is provided by God? Are you open to the light? Will you allow the light to shine in you, into the darkness?

As I continue to study the word “shine” I am reminded that the Word of God is not something that is a one time thing and to be taken as stated in the one verse that was read 20 years ago. I have been studying now for a week on the same word and what I am finding is that it is in the consistency of God’s Word that we draw our strength from.

“⁴³Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. He who has ears, let him hear.” – Matthew 13:43 (ESV)

I am to shine and be the bright example of Christ in this world. Again the same concepts that I have read and studied all week over 5 different passages throughout God’s Word. I am able to pick up the bible and now in no less than 5 places found this to be true, and I have more to study even still.

God provides what we need when it is important for us to have it. I really needed to see and hear God speaking to me to know that my holding on to Him is the right thing for me. I need to continue studying the Word of God to stay on the path He has for me.

The path begins with God and His impact on me. How is it that I display that impact, shine with His glory and be the example of Him everywhere I go. I impact more people, just by being an example for them to see. And I will be rewarded for that when I name is called.

I do not always know the lives that I impact, but it happens, and God lets me know. I had someone email me that I have to spoken to in a while. This person want to simply let me know that they were thankful that I provided coaching and care for them from my first interaction with them and maintained the same approach with all interactions. I was overcome with emotion at the words that were written, because all I remember doing was being who God wants me to be.

When you are out there, where is your focus? What is your guiding light? Are you proceeding with the glory of God on you and shining again and always and accepting the rewards when God has them for you?

Almost 3 years ago, I was studying the word “world” and was led to the passage below and I referred to what to avoid as was described in a commentary from one of my bibles.

“¹⁴You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. ¹⁶In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” – Matthew 5:14-16 (ESV)

This morning I was again brought to this passage as I study the word “shine”. I am reminded here that it is our duty to “shine before others”. I am in a position to help guide them to Christ.

I recall being in the natural caves and caverns here in Texas and each time there is a guide with a flashlight to lead the way. I am drawn to them and follow them with trust and comfort as they have done this before, and they have the light to get us there safely. I should be that same guide for those around me. I may not be holding a flashlight, but I do have the light of Christ in and upon me that should be shining to “give glory” to God. That glory will well be enough to give trust and comfort to others as they will know that I have been there before and will work to get them there safely.

When I am looking for help with something, I am not looking for someone to do it for me. I am seek guidance and knowledge so that I can take it on myself. I like to think that most others are similar in their approach. That said, I have a duty to “shine before others” and be that light and guide they are seeking to help them reach their destination. I do not have to be so bright that I overtake the situation, but just enough to make the journey safe.

When you are out there, are you looking for a guide to help get you there? What are your expectations of that guide? Will you shine as the light and guide by providing just enough light?

“¹Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD has risen upon you. ²For behold, darkness shall cover the earth, and thick darkness the peoples; but the LORD will arise upon you, and his glory will be seen upon you. ³And nations shall come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your rising.” – Isaiah 60:1-3 (ESV)

Isaiah is speaking to the nation of Israel here for them to be the light of God to the world. I love the words used, “to the brightness”. It is one thing to see the light, but something else entirely to be bright.

I am an early riser and that is for a number of reasons, but one is so that I can get some exercise. I go for a walk/run on the streets near my home. There are a number of street lights on my route. On any day there will be at least one light that is not working and it is in those areas that I have a fleeting thought of whether or not I am going the way I set out to go. It is a fleeting thought as I know that I have gone the right way, as I go that same route every day, but I am concerned with losing my beacons to tell me where I am, where I am headed, how much further, and the security of knowing I can see what might be coming.

I have to remember the words of Isaiah in verse 1 that my “light has come; and the glory of the LORD has risen upon you”. I am that beacon of light for others in the name of Christ. I have to be there and shine bright for them to have a marker to know where they are, where they are headed, how much further, and the security of knowing they will be able to see what might be coming.

God is light, and He shines that light on me. I am the conduit to bring that light to others around me and show them the way that is Christ-like and full of love for them and everyone.

When you are in the world, do you have moments where your light may not be as bright as it could/should be? Are you looking to be the light that shines for Christ? Will you shine bright so others will come?