“1Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: ‘It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.’ 9But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 2But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 5Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer, but then comet together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” – 1 Corinthians 7: 1, 9, 2, & 5 (ESV)
I know, these verses are completely out of order as written by Paul. I will admit that when looking at the verses, I was not quite sure what would be the reasoning for my study of these verses as pertains to self-control and me. And then it hit me, maybe it was not meant specifically for me and that was what brought me to write them here in the order at which I did.
Being married for the past almost 24 yrs, I have to say that I love my wife, Lori, and we have a good relationship with one another in all areas of our marriage. It has been a long while since we were separate individuals, and I will say that I for one fell into verse 9 as written where, before we were married, I found it difficult to exercise self-control.
In today’s society, I am very confident when I say that is certainly prevalent for people in relationships to exercise self-control as well. And because of that, there are people marrying based on the emotion found in the relationship and that emotion alone. I have to commend them for taking that approach and following Christian teachings and actions. I will also say that because of the emotional approach to the relationship, there is something missing which causes the relationship to erode over time.
As mentioned by Paul in verse 5, there should be times when we should be apart so that we can “devote yourselves to prayer”. I am sure that this is missing in a great number of these young relationships based on the emotional attachment they have to one another. Spending all of your time with one person is difficult as there is still a need for the individual to express themselves and as such they should be engaged with God to explore what that expression will look like.
We have to be careful with that time away from one another and be sure that the time is not too great that we lose sight of one another and fall prey to the temptations that Satan presents as we are still human and can succumb to our lack of self-control. We have to remember to reconnect with one another often to be sure that our relationship with one another does not erode and we drift apart looking for the next thing to satisfy our emotional need.
I do not claim to be a relationship expert, I can only say that Lori and I have been married for almost 24 years at the writing of this and even though we have had our moments, as I mentioned earlier, we have a pretty healthy relationship altogether. We are still working on it and I encourage you to do the same. I have to remember that to be healthy, I may have to demonstrate my self-control and step away to commune with God on next steps in growing my relationship with Lori.
When you think about your relationships, what are you basing those on? Are you holding to the emotion of that relationship, and what happens when the emotions fade? Are you able to exercise the self-control needed to step away and commune with God for what is next?
Trevor's Thoughts 