This morning I continue my study of the word “wife”. I am led to Ephesians to the passage titled “Wives and Husbands”. As you look to the title of my writing, it appears that this is directed at the wife, yet the husband plays a vital role.

“²²Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. ²³For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. ²⁴Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” – Ephesians 5:22-24 (ESV)

“³³However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” – Ephesians 5:33 (ESV)

Here we see Paul speaking to the role of the wife in the relationship. She is to submit to the husband as the church submits to Christ. The wife is to rely on the husband for love and care. She is to recognize and respect his authority in the house and relationship. The wife is to give herself to the husband fully in their marriage as we give ourselves to Christ.

But here is the thing, look to verse 23 above. Christ is the head of the church, yes, but also see that Christ sacrificed Himself for the Church. It is not just about the submission of the church to Christ, it is about Christ’s full devotion to the church to the point of sacrificial death. Husbands, we are to do the same. We are to sacrifice for our wives. She is relying on us for care and love and devotion as she is submitting to to us.

The relationship between a husband and wife is of oneness. Reliance on one another. The wife cares for the everyday needs of the home and the husband cares for the everyday needs of the wife. The wife recognizes and respects the authority of the husband and submits fully to that authority and the husband loves and sacrifices for the wife.

I can see how this passage would rub society the wrong way as it pushes for independence of the individual. But we have to see this as God intended. Yes, there is submission on the part of the wife to the husband, but I would argue that there is submission on the part of the husband to the wife as well. They are one and it is not about the wife being a doormat to the husband, but rather her being the wife of the husband. Likewise it is not about the husband lording over the wife in power and authority, but rather him being the sacrificial protector of the wife. There is submission and respect from the wife, and from the husband there is love and sacrifice.

How do you see the husband and wife relationship? Are you looking at it as a one way street of power and authority from the husband? What if you were to see both sides, submission and respect from the wife and love and sacrifice from the husband?