Husbands, Focus on the LORD

It is easier said than done. As husbands we have lots of anxieties.

“³³But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, ³⁴and his interests are divided.” – 1 Corinthians 7:33-34a (ESV)

Paul, in speaking to the Corinthians is noting for them that as married men, we are occupied with pleasing our wives. We want them to be well taken care of and sacrifice ourselves for them to be cared for. I was recently given a card by my wife and sons that read in part, “Thank you for always putting your family first.” So we are devoted to them and their well being and worry becomes normalized with them.

I am not saying that we should not be married or find a way out of marriage by any means, and neither does Paul. But, we should turn our focus on the LORD and avoid the anxieties that plague us as men.

“³⁶If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. ³⁷But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. ³⁸So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.” – 1 Corinthians 7:36-38 (ESV)

Paul points out that it is good and right if we just stay where we are and focus on the LORD. If that means staying unmarried, even to our betrothed, or being married. We are best to stay in that situation and turn our focus on the LORD and remove our anxieties. We are to remember the LORD and not the things of the world. We have to get our lives in balance with the LORD.

I spend my mornings reading and studying God’s Word. I am intentional about it. It is a wonderful amount of time each day and it really does get me moving in the right direction. And then I move to the things of the world, my wife, my boys, my household, my work, and all other things. But, I have started my day with the LORD and He remains with me the rest of the day guiding me away from the world’s anxieties.

We are not to give up on what the LORD has planned for us. He planned for me and Lori to be together and He blessed us with Bryson and Aarron. I do not wish for a different life at all. I am elated to have what the LORD has given to me. It is up to me to embrace where I am and turn my focus to the LORD daily and allow Him to deal with all that is in the world for me. He will point me where He wants me next, I only need to focus on Him.

Where is your focus? Are you focused on the things of this world and not necessarily on the LORD? What if you were to accept where you are and turn your focus on the LORD and allow Him to deal with the world and point your where He would have you?

Husbands, Stay with Your Wife

This seems like the right thing to do as isn’t that how it was set up in your marriage vows, “til death do us part”. I have come to see that divorce or leaving a spouse seems to be just as common as marriage itself (not really, but seems so). According to The Pew Research Center, around 34% of U.S. marriages end in divorce. The reasons for divorce are different, but think of that percentage, 3 out of ten marriages end in divorce. That is a pretty high number in my book.

“¹⁰To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband ¹¹(but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife. ¹²To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. ¹³If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him.” – 1 Corinthians 7:10-13 (ESV)

According to God’s Word, Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, husband and wife should stay married. Wives should not separate or divorce from their husbands and likewise the husband should not divorce their wives. Notice that in these four verses there is no exception, in fact Paul does say in verse 11, that there should be reconciliation.

I am speaking to my fellow husbands here. We are to love our wife and stay with them. Even when things seem bleakest between you, there is always room for reconciliation. We have to look backward to see the good. We chose to marry our wife for what we saw in them before. They are still the same as they were, we have likely stopped looking at or for that in them. Look intently for that again to rekindle that which was there at the time of our marriage to our wife.

“¹⁵But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.” – 1 Corinthians 7:15 (ESV)

Now, is there cause for separating/divorcing our wife or husband, yes. But even in those times, there is still room for salvation and reconciliation. But, if it is so that the wife is still unbelieving, even throughout and after evangelizing to/with them and they choose to leave, let them go and get back to your focus on the LORD and what He has for you.

Notice that Paul gives a single verse to mention a reason for separation or divorce. Will there be tough times and challenges that befall our marriage, yes. The thing is that with God in our lives and at the center of our marriage, all things can be overcome. Look back to your marriage vows, we agreed to devote ourselves to our spouse and love them through it all. That devotion does not stop when things get a little rougher than we expected them to be. Husbands, stay with you wife through it all and allow God to work.

What does the marriage life look like? Are you in it as long as things are going good? What if you look back at your vows and see that you agreed to stay with your wife (or husband) through it all, so allow God to work in your marriage?

Stay with Your Wife

“³¹It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ ³²But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” – Matthew 5:31-32 (ESV)

What a lesson from Jesus here in the Sermon on the Mount. Divorce is for those who have been in a sexually immoral relationship. Not those who just are not getting along, or those who are having trouble financially, or those who are not happy with the way the other is running around town. We are called to love our wife and stay with her.

I know what some are thinking, what about other scenarios where there is danger and the like. Notice that Jesus does not call on those things as a reason for divorce. According to scripture, we are to work for reconciliation and divorce is the last resort.

The only other viable reason for divorce is when there is abandonment from Christ. In such cases, again, reconciliation should be desired and the unbeliever should work to find their way back to Christ. But if that is ultimately not possible and the unbeliever leaves the believer, then divorce is the last resort.

“¹⁵But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.” – 1 Corinthians 7:15 (ESV)

All of the above is to say, stay with your wife. You found one another and have been at it this long, the oneness that you created with you marriage is something worth fighting for. There have been many times that Lori and I have not gotten along or had some life altering thing between us. But no matter the thing, we also had Christ and one another to fight for and those certainly win out.

“²⁴Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24 (ESV)

We are called to leave our father and mother and join our wife in one flesh. That is not for the moment or in good times, it is for all time and every moment. We are to stay with our wife to the end.

What is your view of your relationship with your wife? Is it on that is only there for the good times? What if your approach was biblical and you worked to stay with your wife as one to the end?

The LORD Will Come and Stay

What does it take for the LORD to come?

“¹³When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command the locust to devour the land, or send pestilence among my people, ¹⁴if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” – 2 Chronicles 7:13-14 (ESV)

We have to earnestly “pray and seek” Him and His Face and “turn from their wicked ways” and then the LORD will come. So it is on us to get the LORD here. It is up to me and my full dependence on Him regardless of the circumstances. I am in charge of turning to the LORD and away from that which is evil. The LORD is always within earshot of me, and will come when I need Him, I only need to call on Him.

I think that we understand that part. Call on the LORD and He will come. But what is it that gets Him to stay with us. Well, it is the humbling of ourselves and surrendering to Him.I can and should call on Him when I need Him, yet it is up to me to reach out to Him and surrender to His glory for Him to come and stay.

“¹⁵Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayer that is made in this place. ¹⁶For now I have chosen and consecrated this house that my name may be there forever. My eyes and my heart will be there for all time” – 2 Chronicles 7:15-16 (ESV)

When I have devoted myself to the LORD, He will come and stay with me. Not just in earshot, but will be there walking with me for my entire journey in this world. I will have Him there to fend off the evil. He will comfort me and guide me and carry me and provide for me and bless me and fully ensure that I am taken care of in this world. It is up to me to turn to Him and away from evil and surrender to Him and he will come and stay with me.

What are you doing to get the LORD to come and stay? Are you keeping Him just within earshot? What if you were to surrender to Him so that He comes and walks with you, comforting you, guiding you, carrying you, providing for you, and blessing you?

Abundance and Prosperity From the Heart

“¹⁰when you obey the voice of the Lord your God, to keep his commandments and his statutes that are written in this Book of the Law, when you turn to the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul.” and “⁹The Lord your God will make you abundantly prosperous in all the work of your hand, in the fruit of your womb and in the fruit of your cattle and in the fruit of your ground. For the Lord will again take delight in prospering you, as he took delight in your fathers,” — Deuteronomy 30:10 & 9 (ESV)

I know that I have captured the two verses above in reverse order. I do that as it is now in the cause and effect order. The LORD will make us prosperous and will provide abundance when we are obeying Him fully, not just in action, but with our hearts.

I wrote recently of the over abundance that God will provide when everything comes from the heart. The people gave for the building of the temple from their hearts and there was so much given that Moses had to tell them to stop giving. When we are going about our lives with Christ from our heart He will not only make sure there is more than enough for His work, but He will also provide abundance for you and me.

You see, it is not just about loving the LORD with all your heart. It is also about obeying His every command. Our pastor, Jared Patrick just did a message on bad days and what to do about it. One of the points in the sermon was that we may be obeying perfectly to God’s plans and commandments, yet the outcome was not what we expected to come. God does not always reveal to us the outcome, He may only reveal the work and our role is to obey. Our obedience is from the heart and not just on the surface of things. We have to fully believe and trust that God will use us as He needs and that we will be rewarded for the work, in the way that He sees fitting. So, as Jared pointed out in his sermon, what do we do on a bad day:

1. Remember who God is

2. Recall What God Has Promised

3. Trust What God Will Do

4. Stay Faithful Even When You Feel Empty

5. (this one is from me) Obey God From The Heart

I want to be clear, we do not do the work for some sort of reward. We do the work for the LORD and to spread His message to all around. But, we will be rewarded and that reward will be abundance and prosperity that we can only imagine today.

Where does your obeying come from? Are you doing things specifically to receive some sort of reward a, quid quo pro kind of thing? What if you were to just obey the LORD with all your heart and know that you will be rewarded in some way at some time in abundance and prosperity?