Husband, be Worthy of Respect

“³³However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” – Ephesians 5:33 (ESV)

There are a few things in the above verse to point out. First, husbands are to love their wives. Second, wives are to respect their husbands. Third, and not really stated, husbands are to be worthy of respect. I know, it may not say that third one in the verse itself, but it is certainly implied. If not in the verse itself, throughout the passage of Ephesians 5:22-33 titled in my ESV Bible, “Wives and Husbands”.

God has a plan and role for each of us. And in marriage, the role of the wife and the husband is defined. And where those roles are defined, those roles do not give edicts of demand. The role of husband and wife are to be in the spirit and example of Christ. I am the head of my wife and house, but as the example of Christ who loves and protects her as Christ does the church. My wife is to submit to me, but as the example of the church to Christ and look for love and protection from me as it does from Christ.

Here is where I see the third one from above. I am to love and cherish and protect my wife even to death if that be the case. I am to demonstrate my love for her and she should know if it all at all times. I am to provide for her and our home. In return, my wife should submit to my authority in her life and the life of our house and home. She is to respect me, yes because it is said and defined in the role, but also because she sees that I have done my part in my role and am worthy of her respect. She sees that I provide for her. She sees that I protect her. She sees that I love her. She sees that I love her and in return she submits and respects me knowing that she needs only to love God and seek his provision and that she will receive that from me as her husband.

Husbands, be the man of God you were meant to be and be worthy of respect from your wife.

What is your view of respect from your wife? Have you or do you earn it? What if it is not about earning it but more about being worthy of it through your actions of love, provision, and protection for your wife?

Wife’s Submission and Respect

This morning I continue my study of the word “wife”. I am led to Ephesians to the passage titled “Wives and Husbands”. As you look to the title of my writing, it appears that this is directed at the wife, yet the husband plays a vital role.

“²²Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. ²³For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. ²⁴Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” – Ephesians 5:22-24 (ESV)

“³³However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” – Ephesians 5:33 (ESV)

Here we see Paul speaking to the role of the wife in the relationship. She is to submit to the husband as the church submits to Christ. The wife is to rely on the husband for love and care. She is to recognize and respect his authority in the house and relationship. The wife is to give herself to the husband fully in their marriage as we give ourselves to Christ.

But here is the thing, look to verse 23 above. Christ is the head of the church, yes, but also see that Christ sacrificed Himself for the Church. It is not just about the submission of the church to Christ, it is about Christ’s full devotion to the church to the point of sacrificial death. Husbands, we are to do the same. We are to sacrifice for our wives. She is relying on us for care and love and devotion as she is submitting to to us.

The relationship between a husband and wife is of oneness. Reliance on one another. The wife cares for the everyday needs of the home and the husband cares for the everyday needs of the wife. The wife recognizes and respects the authority of the husband and submits fully to that authority and the husband loves and sacrifices for the wife.

I can see how this passage would rub society the wrong way as it pushes for independence of the individual. But we have to see this as God intended. Yes, there is submission on the part of the wife to the husband, but I would argue that there is submission on the part of the husband to the wife as well. They are one and it is not about the wife being a doormat to the husband, but rather her being the wife of the husband. Likewise it is not about the husband lording over the wife in power and authority, but rather him being the sacrificial protector of the wife. There is submission and respect from the wife, and from the husband there is love and sacrifice.

How do you see the husband and wife relationship? Are you looking at it as a one way street of power and authority from the husband? What if you were to see both sides, submission and respect from the wife and love and sacrifice from the husband?

Pay What is Owed

As I read and think, I cannot help but reflect on the state of our world today and the total lack of payment to what is owed. This morning I am studying the word “honor”. I was led to the passage in Romans directing me to “submission to the authorities”.

“⁷Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.” – Romans 13:7 (ESV)

Above are Paul’s words as to paying what is owed. All of those items are sorely missing in society today. How many are not paying their taxes? How many are not paying respect? How many are not paying honor?

When I look at the words from Paul, I have to remember that paying what is owed does not mean that I am agreeing with it. It means that I am fulfilling an obligation. I have incurred the taxes and therefor must pay them. Those in positions of authority have earned the position and should be respected. Those who have given of themselves must be honored for their sacrifices. I may not like to pay taxes, and I may not like the person in authority, and I may not agree with the area where the sacrifice was given. But, all of those things are things that are to be payed out of the it is right to do so.

My youngest son Aarron volunteered to serve in the Navy. He has given of himself for something greater than himself. I could not be more proud of his decision to do so. Am I afraid for him, yes. Would I do the same, I am not sure. The one thing I can say is that I will honor him for the sacrifice that he is making that others may or would not make. I do not look down on others, as they are following their path, and I may be with them as well. But honor is given to Aarron for he has earned it, even if others do not agree with his decision.

Our authorities in the world are in those positions as God has allowed it. It does not mean that they are the “best” for the role, but they are there and deserve the respect of the position. We do not have to “like” the person, but the position is instituted by God and is deserving of respect as a result. Paul points out that authority is from God, and deserving of respect.

“¹Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God.” – Romans 13:1 (ESV)

As for the paying of taxes as they are owed. Even if we do not agree with them, we are to pay them. Paul is simply restating that which Jesus Himself stated, that we are to respect the authority and pay that which is owed.

“¹⁴And they came and said to him, ‘Teacher, we know that you are true and do not care about anyone’s opinion. For you are not swayed by appearances, but truly teach the way of God. Is it lawful to pay taxes to Caesar, or not? Should we pay them, or should we not?’ ¹⁵But, knowing their hypocrisy, he said to them, ‘Why put me to the test? Bring me a denarius and let me look at it.’ ¹⁶And they brought one. And he said to them, ‘Whose likeness and inscription is this?’ They said to him, ‘Caesar’s.’ ¹⁷Jesus said to them, ‘Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.’ And they marveled at him.” – Mark 12:14-17 (ESV)

We are obligated to pay that which is owed. There is nothing in what Jesus says or Paul reiterates that indicates we are to pay more, and there it is not referenced as to what is fair or right, it is in reference to simply what is owed.

I am obligated to pay what is owed. I may not like it, but I am obligated to pay. That pay is not just in the form of monetary compensation, but in the currency of the situation, money, respect, honor, etc.

I am reminded this morning to remove the emotion from transaction and do as the LORD has directed and Paul has restated. I am obligated to pay that which is owed.

What are your thoughts as relate to paying what is owed? Are you fighting and resisting? Think about it, what if you listened to the LORD in the area of your obligations to pay that which I owed?