Husband, be Worthy of Respect

“³³However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” – Ephesians 5:33 (ESV)

There are a few things in the above verse to point out. First, husbands are to love their wives. Second, wives are to respect their husbands. Third, and not really stated, husbands are to be worthy of respect. I know, it may not say that third one in the verse itself, but it is certainly implied. If not in the verse itself, throughout the passage of Ephesians 5:22-33 titled in my ESV Bible, “Wives and Husbands”.

God has a plan and role for each of us. And in marriage, the role of the wife and the husband is defined. And where those roles are defined, those roles do not give edicts of demand. The role of husband and wife are to be in the spirit and example of Christ. I am the head of my wife and house, but as the example of Christ who loves and protects her as Christ does the church. My wife is to submit to me, but as the example of the church to Christ and look for love and protection from me as it does from Christ.

Here is where I see the third one from above. I am to love and cherish and protect my wife even to death if that be the case. I am to demonstrate my love for her and she should know if it all at all times. I am to provide for her and our home. In return, my wife should submit to my authority in her life and the life of our house and home. She is to respect me, yes because it is said and defined in the role, but also because she sees that I have done my part in my role and am worthy of her respect. She sees that I provide for her. She sees that I protect her. She sees that I love her. She sees that I love her and in return she submits and respects me knowing that she needs only to love God and seek his provision and that she will receive that from me as her husband.

Husbands, be the man of God you were meant to be and be worthy of respect from your wife.

What is your view of respect from your wife? Have you or do you earn it? What if it is not about earning it but more about being worthy of it through your actions of love, provision, and protection for your wife?

Husband, Be Head of Wife and House

Yes, husbands are to be the head of his wife and of the house.

“²³For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.” – Ephesians 5:23 (ESV)

I know that in today’s society, it may be controversial to think this way. There is a belief that everyone should be ruler over their own selves. Individuality has infiltrated the home and there is no allegiance to the ruler of the house and everyone feels they should stand on their own.

The things is that if you are standing fully on your own, you are alone. We were meant to be one flesh with the other. Each in the marriage has a role and each are vital to the health and well being of the marriage. When we are individuals then we miss out of the joys of the marriage and the relationship that is meant to be. You see we cannot be devoted to our spouse if we are focused on ourselves.

“²⁵Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” – Ephesians 5:25 (ESV)

Husbands, we are called to be the head of our wives and our house. We are the leaders in both respects. We are called to give our all to our wives, not just part of us. We give ourselves up for them. We are not taking away the individual that is our wife, we are giving her a space to thrive where she is. We are loving her and giving her a place to not have to worry with what and how to do. We are giving her the opportunity to be safe and be loved and be all that she was meant to be, wife and mother and teacher and caregiver. We take away the burden of provider and protector. We are the leaders of our family and our house.

I believe that part of the problem in our world today is that husbands are absent from their roles. We have become complacent allow our wives to take on too much of the work. We exist to just be a figure in the marriage and not the leader of it. We are not the head of our wives and houses, we are members of the marriage and house. We are just another person in the family and hold no real value.

I know that in my house, Lori is my wife and mom to the boys and daughter to her mother and daughter in law to my mother. But she is also a teacher in the school. For 20 years she was mom to the boys and wife top me. She worked outside the home as a teacher (the next best thing to being a stay at home mom by the way). Now that the boys are out of the house, she has taken on additional roles that give her joy. But, even as she has expanded herself outside the home, she is still my wife and mom to the boys and will do any and everything to ensure that role is first in all that she does.

As her husband, I too have a role in the house and it is up to me to be in that role. I am her to provide and protect her. I am her to lead her and love her. I am here to be the one she turns to when they are not as she expects or believes them to be. I am her other half. I am head of the house and more importantly head of my wife.

What is your role as husband? Are you there as a figure only? What if you were to embrace the fact that you are provider, protector, and head of your wife and house?

Give Sexual Relations to One Another

This morning I continue to study the word “husband” and have been led to the passage titled “Principles for Marriage” in 1 Corinthians. There is a lot here for both husband and wife, the verses of focus this morning are below which relates to sexual relations in the marriage.

“²But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. ³The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. ⁴For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” – 1 Corinthians 7:2-4 (ESV)

Here we see that it is right and just to have sexual relations with your spouse. We see that this is the way to avoid the temptations that arise of sexual relations outside of the marriage. We see that neither husband nor wife have full single authority over there own bodies. But, the one thing I believe that I miss on the regular is that we are to “give” to one another sexual relations.

I hear regularly, whether in person or in society, that husbands and wives go without or hold out sexual relations with one another. This is not biblical at all. Just reviewing the verses above, husbands and wives are to have sexual relations, and not just for the purpose of procreation. They are to have sexual relations to guard one another against sexual immorality. They also provide pleasure to one another and strengthen their relationship.

I go back to the idea missed on the regular by me to “give” sexual relations to the one another. I am going to focus on my husband’s duty of giving with the understanding that the wife has a similar if not exact duty of giving as well. You see, I promised to give myself to Lori over 29 years ago when we stood at the alter to be joined as husband and wife. My life and body are no longer my own as she has a stake in everything that is me. I have a duty to ensure that Lori is taken care of in all areas, physical, emotional, social, as well as sexual. It is my responsibility to provide for her in all ways. I do not withhold emotional support so why would I withhold sexual support.

It is natural for men and women to have sexual desires as God made us for one another. I have given myself to be with Lori as one and that means that what she needs I should provide. When she needs food, it is my duty to provide food. When she needs a hug, it is my duty to provide a hug. When she needs a roof over her head, it is my duty to provide a roof. And, when she needs sexual relations it is my duty to provide her those sexual relations. Lori should not have to look outside our marriage for anything she needs.

Notice the wording and the process. When something is needed by our wife, we are to provide or “give” to her that which is needed. We are not in the business of taking from her. We are in the business of giving to her. Lori should be giving to me just as I am to give to her, but again, neither of us are to take from one another. Yes, the duty is there, but there is no cause for the forceful taking of anything. All should be freely offered to one another, and that goes for sexual relations just as much as anything else. We are “give” to one another everything including sexual relations.

What is your view of sexual relations in your marriage? Are you out there demanding and taking from your spouse? What if you were to instead “give” yourself to one another through duty to one another?

Give Freely From the Heart

“⁹Take care lest there be an unworthy thought in your heart and you say, ‘The seventh year, the year of release is near,’ and your eye look grudgingly on your poor brother, and you give him nothing, and he cry to the Lord against you, and you be guilty of sin. ¹⁰You shall give to him freely, and your heart shall not be grudging when you give to him, because for this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in all that you undertake.” – Deuteronomy 15:9-10 (ESV)

This passage is from that titled in my ESV Bible as “The Sabbatical Year”. The instruction in the full passage is to give freely to your brothers and neighbors. Whether lending or full on gifting, you are to be sure to provide for the needs of your poor brothers and sisters. In this Sabbatical year, there is a moratorium in the collection of the lent resources. That can be fully forgiven or simply paused for the year. But no matter where you are in relation to the Sabbatical year, you are to continue to give freely to your poor brothers and sisters.

The part of the verse that I was led to this morning is that of giving freely from the heart. We are to want to support our neighbors and brothers. We are to almost go out of our way to provide for their needs, and do so from a deep sense of love and compassion without concern for payback. We are to be heartfelt in providing and not do so with any animosity in our heart.

I admit to being cynical and have a hard time with supporting others that have opportunity to support themselves. I have seen too often, those who take advantage of the generosity of others and wonder if there really is need based on the actions of those receiving. But, I have to remember the second part of verse 10 above, “because for this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in all that you undertake.”

You see, it is not about what my brother, sister, and neighbor has going on in their heart, when the need is identified, it is my role to work to fill that need. Yes, their may be ill intent on the part of the receiver, and they will be dealt with by the LORD just as I will be dealt with based on my actions to provide. There should be no grudgingly giving. I have to give freely from the heart to meet the needs of my brother, sister, and neighbor. In that I will find my reward in heaven.

What is your view of giving? Are you reluctant based on the actions of those who you provide? What if you were to give freely from the heart and allow God to provide judgment?

The LORD Provides Leaders

Yes, the LORD will provide the leaders of the church and elsewhere.

“¹⁸I will raise up for them a prophet like you from among their brothers. And I will put my words in his mouth, and he shall speak to them all that I command him.” – Deuteronomy 18:18 (ESV)

The people of Israel had Moses to lead them out of Egypt. As his time grew to an end, the LORD let known that He would provide leadership for them afterward. This leader would come from the people and he would speak the Word of the LORD as Moses did.

This demonstrates that God has a plan for us and will provide what we need, when we need. In this case the need would be leadership. God chose the next leader for the people prior to the need for him to take over. This would allow for the smooth and efficient transition from Moses to the next and it would all be as he LORD had intended.

I have experienced this myself a number of years ago. I was a member of the pastor search committee in our church. As committee members, we had reviewed all the applicants and even went to visit one at his current church. After offering to position, he turned us down. We continued to pray that God would provide the right pastor for his church and we kept coming back to the one. So we contacted him and he accepted. This was the man provided by God for our church when we needed him.

The LORD does not just provide for our physical needs. He provides for all of our needs. His provision even extends into the people needed in our lives.

When was the last time someone was provided for you? Are you even aware that the LORD will provide even the right people? What if you gave yourself fully to the LORD with the knowledge that He will provide all that you need when you need, even the people you need?

The LORD Provides Bounty

Bounty: 1: something that is given generously, 2: liberality in giving: generosity 3: yield especially of a crop – Merriam-Webster Online

This morning I continue my study on the word “will” and find myself in Leviticus. I know, riveting words written about the law. But, that is it when you really study the different laws and their impact.

I am in chapter 26 in the passage, as titled in my bible, “Blessings for Obedience”. Here the LORD has given instruction on how to approach the worship of Him. He then provides the condition:

“³If you walk in my statutes and observe my commandments and do them,” — Leviticus 26:3 (ESV)

The LORD says, do this and if you do… He identifies the actions required and then the reward for doing so. Isn’t that how it should always be, and isn’t that how the LORD has always been with His instruction. He tells us what we shall do and then what the reward is for doing so. He did it in the garden with the man and woman, He did with Noah, and here He is with the Israelite people. Follow my commands and you will be rewarded.

“⁴Then I will give you…” — Leviticus 26:4 (ESV)

And the reward is great and wonderful and more than we could imagine. As we continue to read in the passage, the LORD provides, rain for the crops, crops of wheat until time for grapes, and grapes until time for planting. And He provides peace and power to overcome. And all of this in generous supply.

What a reminder to me about following and giving glory to God, He will reward for the work done and that reward will be great. His provision will be generous and I will not need anything beyond His reward. I am to do His will and reap the bounty in return.

What is your approach to the LORD? Are you looking for reward from Him? What if you obeyed Him knowing that He will provide bounty?

The LORD Will Provide Just What We Need

“⁷And Isaac said to his father Abraham, ‘My father!’ And he said, ‘Here I am, my son.’ He said, ‘Behold, the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?’ ⁸Abraham said, ‘God will provide for himself the lamb for a burnt offering, my son.’ So they went both of them together.” – Genesis 22:7-8 (ESV)

Here we have the scene of Abraham and Isaac headed off to make an offering to the LORD. Isaac is to be the offering. Yes, in case you did not know, the LORD had given direction for Abraham to offer his only son as a burnt offering. Isaac is curious as to what would be offered to the LORD as they did not bring an animal with them. It was not time for Isaac to know and so Abraham deferred to the LORD, knowing that He would provide just what was needed in that time.

The thing I see here is that Abraham was following the LORD to the letter. He went as he was commanded. He was willing to do the work God had for him, no matter the cost at the time. As I have written before, the LORD is always protecting us, even if we do not see it right now. We are to obey Him and know that He will protect us, and He will provide for us.

In the rest of the account, Abraham was about to follow through with the sacrifice of Isaac. He had his had raised with the knife and all. And the angel of the LORD stopped him and commended Abraham for obeying the LORD, regardless of the immediate cost. And as Abraham had told Isaac in verse 8 above, the LORD provided a ram to be sacrificed just when it was needed.

I am reminded here as I have titled, the LORD will provide just what we need. And I will add just when we need.

What are you doing in obedience to the LORD? Are you delaying your obedience because the cost may be too high? What if you just obeyed and approached knowing that the LORD will provide just what and when you need?

God Will Provide All That We Need

It is one thing to know that God will provide, it is something else to see it demonstrated. This morning I continue my study on the word “will” and was brought to the passage of “Noah and the Flood” (the title in my ESV Bible). Here is the passage of Noah and his charge from God to be the survivor of the LORD’s destruction of the earth and all that is on it.

“¹³And God said to Noah, ‘I have determined to make an end of all flesh, for the earth is filled with violence through them. Behold, I will destroy them with the earth ¹⁴Make yourself an ark of gopher wood. Make rooms in the ark, and cover it inside and out with pitch.’” – Genesis 6:13-14 (ESV)

God told Noah to build an ark for himself. If Noah is building an ark for himself, that would stand to reason that Noah would survive the destruction. So as I have read and written, God was going to reset and Noah would be the starting point. Noah had found favor with God and he would be spared.

Where this is nice that God tasked Noah with building an ark for his survival, and it does demonstrate God’s provision, it is bigger and more detailed. You see, God provides “all” that we will need. Where there may be times that He gives us the overarching theme of what we are to do and then we are to work it out on our own, God will, when the need is there, provide all the details as He does with Noah here.

“¹⁵This is how you are to make it: the length of the ark 300 cubits, its breadth 50 cubits, and its height 30 cubits. ¹⁶Make a roof for the ark, and finish it to a cubit above, and set the door of the ark in its side. Make it with lower, second, and third decks.” – Genesis 6:15-16 (ESV)

God gives Noah the blueprints to follow in the building of the ark. All of the details are provided and not just the grand plan in this instance. As we go on in the passage, the LORD gives more detail as to what to include in the ark and what purpose it all has. And God guides Noah through the entire process. All the way to when to enter the ark, when the rains would come, and for how long they would be.

I struggle with the plans the LORD has for me in that I am not always sure where to begin, how to proceed, and how things will end. This morning I have been reminded that not being sure is okay. God will provide what I need when I need it and if the details are required, He will provide it all.

What are your thought on God’s provision? Do you expect that you will always have to figure things out? What if you approached God’s provision with the understanding that He will provide all that is needed in each instance?

Give Bread to the LORD

There is some literal as well as figurative meaning in the giving of bread to the LORD. This morning I am still in the book of Exodus as I study the word “bread”. In this morning’s passage I am looking at the Israelite “Contributions for the Tabernacle” as it is titled in my bible. Moses brought God’s command to provide for the building of the tabernacle. Everything was to be given from the metal (gold, silver, bronze…), fabric, jewels, craftsman skill, to the bread on the table.

Moses outlined all that was to be brought freely for the building of the tabernacle to the LORD. This is the givings of the figurative bread to the LORD. The people were to share of their blessings back to the LORD who provided those blessings to them. They were blessed with gold, and silver and bronze, jewels, and skills and Moses commanded them from the LORD to give back to the LORD. Aren’t we to do the same with our offerings to the LORD. I have been blessed from the LORD to have what I have and it is only right that I give a portion of that back to Him as an offering to the LORD for Him to do with and provide for others.

And now to speak of the literal bread given back. The people were to provide the bread for the table in the tabernacle. They were to ensure that the table of the LORD was properly provisioned with the bread. Fresh bread daily for the LORD as provided by the people of the LORD.

“¹³the table with its poles and all its utensils, and the bread of the Presence;” — Exodus 35:13 (ESV)

Now for me in today’s world, there may not be a need to provide the bread for the LORD, but the need for bread is still there. I can and should not just be providing the monetary blessings that God has given, but I should also be providing the blessings of nourishment. It is “easy” to give money to a cause or project. There is little work in writing a check. But providing with food creates more ownership in the work being done for the LORD. It is one thing to provide a gift card for the homeless, but to make them a meal and serve it to them is more involved in the provision. Even buying and bringing is more meaningful.

I can remember many times I have seen someone begging for money on the side of the road. One time in particular, I had just come from a fast food joint where for some reason I bought an extra item that I really did not need (but was going to eat anyway). I came across the person begging for money and I gave them my extra item instead. The look of shear amazement on their face for providing for their immediate need and giving something of myself was fantastic. I was blessed more so and it is so much more memorable that if I would have simply given them $2-3.00.

I have been called to make contributions of bread to the LORD. Some of those contributions are monetary in nature and some are more personal for the giver and the receiver. I can and should be giving of all the blessings from the LORD. Whether those blessings are of metal, jewels, skills, or even of the sustenance value attributed to the actual bread.

What have you been giving to the LORD? Are you simply writing the checks? What if you were to give of the physical and more literally fulfilling to others?