Husband, be Worthy of Respect

“³³However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” – Ephesians 5:33 (ESV)

There are a few things in the above verse to point out. First, husbands are to love their wives. Second, wives are to respect their husbands. Third, and not really stated, husbands are to be worthy of respect. I know, it may not say that third one in the verse itself, but it is certainly implied. If not in the verse itself, throughout the passage of Ephesians 5:22-33 titled in my ESV Bible, “Wives and Husbands”.

God has a plan and role for each of us. And in marriage, the role of the wife and the husband is defined. And where those roles are defined, those roles do not give edicts of demand. The role of husband and wife are to be in the spirit and example of Christ. I am the head of my wife and house, but as the example of Christ who loves and protects her as Christ does the church. My wife is to submit to me, but as the example of the church to Christ and look for love and protection from me as it does from Christ.

Here is where I see the third one from above. I am to love and cherish and protect my wife even to death if that be the case. I am to demonstrate my love for her and she should know if it all at all times. I am to provide for her and our home. In return, my wife should submit to my authority in her life and the life of our house and home. She is to respect me, yes because it is said and defined in the role, but also because she sees that I have done my part in my role and am worthy of her respect. She sees that I provide for her. She sees that I protect her. She sees that I love her. She sees that I love her and in return she submits and respects me knowing that she needs only to love God and seek his provision and that she will receive that from me as her husband.

Husbands, be the man of God you were meant to be and be worthy of respect from your wife.

What is your view of respect from your wife? Have you or do you earn it? What if it is not about earning it but more about being worthy of it through your actions of love, provision, and protection for your wife?

Husband, Be Head of Wife and House

Yes, husbands are to be the head of his wife and of the house.

“²³For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.” – Ephesians 5:23 (ESV)

I know that in today’s society, it may be controversial to think this way. There is a belief that everyone should be ruler over their own selves. Individuality has infiltrated the home and there is no allegiance to the ruler of the house and everyone feels they should stand on their own.

The things is that if you are standing fully on your own, you are alone. We were meant to be one flesh with the other. Each in the marriage has a role and each are vital to the health and well being of the marriage. When we are individuals then we miss out of the joys of the marriage and the relationship that is meant to be. You see we cannot be devoted to our spouse if we are focused on ourselves.

“²⁵Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” – Ephesians 5:25 (ESV)

Husbands, we are called to be the head of our wives and our house. We are the leaders in both respects. We are called to give our all to our wives, not just part of us. We give ourselves up for them. We are not taking away the individual that is our wife, we are giving her a space to thrive where she is. We are loving her and giving her a place to not have to worry with what and how to do. We are giving her the opportunity to be safe and be loved and be all that she was meant to be, wife and mother and teacher and caregiver. We take away the burden of provider and protector. We are the leaders of our family and our house.

I believe that part of the problem in our world today is that husbands are absent from their roles. We have become complacent allow our wives to take on too much of the work. We exist to just be a figure in the marriage and not the leader of it. We are not the head of our wives and houses, we are members of the marriage and house. We are just another person in the family and hold no real value.

I know that in my house, Lori is my wife and mom to the boys and daughter to her mother and daughter in law to my mother. But she is also a teacher in the school. For 20 years she was mom to the boys and wife top me. She worked outside the home as a teacher (the next best thing to being a stay at home mom by the way). Now that the boys are out of the house, she has taken on additional roles that give her joy. But, even as she has expanded herself outside the home, she is still my wife and mom to the boys and will do any and everything to ensure that role is first in all that she does.

As her husband, I too have a role in the house and it is up to me to be in that role. I am her to provide and protect her. I am her to lead her and love her. I am here to be the one she turns to when they are not as she expects or believes them to be. I am her other half. I am head of the house and more importantly head of my wife.

What is your role as husband? Are you there as a figure only? What if you were to embrace the fact that you are provider, protector, and head of your wife and house?

My Authority, God’s Word

God’s Word is not just a book we pick up from time to time to read a few passages to get us through. It is and should be the ultimate authority in our life. We should be looking to and living out the instructions found in God’s Word in all situations.

It is easy to pick and choose different passages when we “need” them or to “justify” some action that we have taken or are considering. But, if we are cherry picking passages we are not really obeying God’s Word as the authority it is. We are simply using God’s Word and not living it.

God’s Word is more than a collection of actions we can take to relieve some ailing we have. It is not just a collection of positive reinforcement actions to keep us moving in the right direction. God’s Word is a way of going through life at all times.

I am over 50 years old and see the value of God’s Word for my daily life. I study or am led in God’s Word seven days a week. I look for how His Word can lead me in life. I look for how I can apply His teachings daily. I know that God’s Word can do all things in my life. His Word accomplished all things and will accomplish all things. By full faith in His Word there is nothing that cannot be done.

“⁸But the centurion replied, ‘Lord, I am not worthy to have you come under my roof, but only say the word, and my servant will be healed.’” – Matthew 8:8 (ESV)

The centurion from the passage above knew that Jesus only need to speak healing to happen. He knew that Jesus was the authority and that as God, His Word would do as spoken. The centurion understood the authority that was God’s Word.

“¹²For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” – Hebrews 4:12 (ESV)

I have to have the faith that God’s Word will do all things. It is not just there for me to pick up when “needed”. God’s Word should be in my bones and leading my every move. I have to lean on the authority of God’s Word to point me and guide me and lead me and protect me as I move along in this world.

What is your relationship to God’s Word? Are you using it to pick and choose how it can help you? What if you were to lean on God’s Word for all things and used it as your authority to point you, guide you, lead you, and protect you as you go along?

The LORD is Always Protecting You

It may seem hard to understand in the moment, but the LORD is truly always protecting you. This morning I am again in Genesis and am reading the passage of God protecting Hagar and Ishmael. If you remember the story a bit, Hagar was the slave of Sarai who gave birth to Ishmael to Abram. Hagar was shunned by Sarai and even in this, the LORD cared for Hagar and Ishmael through Abram. Fast forward to the birth off Isaac to Abraham and Sarah. Sarah again looks upon Hagar with disdain as she is irked that Ishmael and Isaac are now of the same lineage and by extension are heirs together.

Here is where God’s continued protection comes at a time when we may not understand. You see, God approved of and advised Abraham to send Hagar and Ishmael away into the wilderness. The two of them were sent out with some bread and water.

“¹²But God said to Abraham, ‘Be not displeased because of the boy and because of your slave woman. Whatever Sarah says to you, do as she tells you, for through Isaac shall your offspring be named.’” “¹⁴So Abraham rose early in the morning and took bread and a skin of water and gave it to Hagar, putting it on her shoulder, along with the child, and sent her away. And she departed and wandered in the wilderness of Beersheba.” – Genesis 21:12 & 14 (ESV)

Things were looking bleak for Hagar and Ishmael at this time. And of course the water and the bread ran out and Hagar basically gave up. But God.

“¹⁹Then God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water. And she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink. ²⁰And God was with the boy, and he grew up. He lived in the wilderness and became an expert with the bow. ²¹He lived in the wilderness of Paran, and his mother took a wife for him from the land of Egypt.” – Genesis 21:19-21 (ESV)

The circumstances were dire and the LORD stepped in to protect. Although, when we look at the story God was always protecting, even as Hagar and Ishmael were cast out from Abraham. Hagar just did not know it at the time as I am sure that she was devastated as she departed.

The LORD knows what we need and will provide and protect us in our time of need. We are to obey Him with the understanding that He is protecting us, even when we may not see it or understand all of the reasons or timing.

What is your view of protection from God? Are you of the thoughts that all of His actions of protection should be overt and plain for us to see? What if we approached God with understanding that no matter the circumstance, He is always there protecting us?

The LORD Hears Our Desire

I have to believe that no matter the circumstances, the LORD hears my desire. He knows what is in my heart.

“¹⁷O Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted;

you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear

¹⁸to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed,

so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more.”

— Psalm 10:17-18 (ESV)

I am the afflicted. I am oppressed. It may not seem as such based on the world we live in today, but it is true. All who are devoted to following the LORD are or will be persecuted. I need the LORD to get through this world and all of the evil that is presented in it. The evil one is there continually and is looking for any moment to divert me away from the LORD. Whether it is in public, in the media, in private, evil is there lurking and waiting.

“¹⁶The Lord is king forever and ever;

the nations perish from his land.”

— Psalm 10:16 (ESV)

It is in the LORD that I find refuge. The LORD knows my desire. He knows it is difficult. He knows I need to rule over it. And this is the reason He hears my desire. I must desire Him and when I do, He hears my desire and comforts me. He protects me. He guides me. He loves me. He is king.

Where is your desire? Are you desiring in the world? What if you were to desire the LORD and allow Him to comfort you, protect you, guide you, and love you?