I am a sinner and not deserving of any of the glory that is provided by God.

“¹³But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’” — Luke 18:13 (ESV)

This tax collector is a sinner just like me. He owns it in his words and in his actions. He repents for his sin with God and only with God. Notice where he is repentant. He is “far off” and not within the immediate eyes or ears of others. He is secluded to have a relational conversation with God. He is about that relationship and not about the optics and not in comparison to others and their relationship. Here is the one that is the better example for me to use in my own relational conversations with God. They are to be on my own and in seclusion. They are to be personal and out of the immediate eyes or ears of others. They are to be only about and concerning me and my relationship with God.

I like that this tax collector is not concerned with what the world thinks of him. He is concerned with what God thinks of him. He also does not claim to be better than anyone. Being a tax collector was not a job that was highly regarded among the people although it was in the government and political society. His role brought the people to think poorly of him. But the job is not what defines you. It is your heart. The job was to collect that which the law indicated was for paying taxes and to bring additional provision to his family. It was possible to be a God fearing tax collector that stayed within the law in all of the collections. I am not saying that this man was, but it is possible he may have been.

The thing about the man and Jesus was speaking was that this man owned his sin and presented it to God for forgiveness. He knew he was a sinner and did not try to be something he was not. He also knew that the relationship with God was his own and not for everyone to be a part. His prayers were to God and not for the world to see. He did not concern himself with whether he compared to others adequately. He was concerned with his relationship with God alone.

“¹⁴I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.” — Luke 18:14 (ESV)

I see this man as a private, not proud man. He was repentant and humble in his relationship with God. He is an example of how I should act within my relationship with God. I should be repentant and humble. I should be private. I should be personal. I should own being a sinner and work with God alone to repent those sins and do so in private with Him in personal conversation and make it about me and my failures alone.

I have to own my being a sinner and know that my heartfelt personal repentance is that which brings joy to God.

How are you out there repenting from sin? Are you doing it out in the open for all to see and are you comparing your sin to others who are “worse” than you? What if you just kept your relationship with God personal and made all the conversation private so that you could truly own the sinner in you?