Tag: One

Husband of One Wife

“2Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife,” – 1 Timothy 3:2a (ESV)

“12Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well.” – 1 Timothy 3:12 (ESV)

“5This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you— 6if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination.” – Titus 1:5-6 (ESV)

The above verses speak to the qualification to be an overseer, deacon, and elder in the church. I also consider this to be the same for the followers of Christ. Whereas I have listed these four verses, they are not the only qualification. Regardless of the number of them, Paul has written of the specifics of being a leader or caretaker in Christ’s Church.

As I am studying the word “wife”, I am going to keep my eyes there in my writing this morning. In the qualifications of each of the positions in the church “the husband of one wife” is mentioned in each of them. And to go along with it, there is the “managing their children and their own households well”. How can someone be considered a leader of the church if their ow house and relationship is in chaos? If there is a lack of stability in the home that is led by the husband, how can there be stability elsewhere the husband works in.

“5for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?” – 1 Timothy 3:5 (ESV)

I did say earlier that I believe these qualifications should be for the followers of Christ and not just those who are in positions of leadership or caretaker. I really mean that. When we are in Christ, we are to be fully in Christ and where it starts with our relationship with Him, it extends to our relationship in our home. The relationship with our wife and household is to be one of stability and lacking chaos from the world view. As Paul writes in verse 5 above, how can there be calm in church when there is not calm in the personal life. As a Christian, I am called to have the calm in my personal life to have calm in the church.

Removing the chaos starts with the relationship with our wife. She is the other half of us. Remember that she has a role in the household and we are to honor her and love her only. We are one (half me and half her). There is no room for another, as Paul mentions in the qualification of each, overseer, deacon, and elder. The same is for us as followers of Christ. There is only room for her and no other. When there is another, there is division of loyalty and that adds to chaos in the home, remember we cannot have stability in the church if there is not stability in the home.

Love your wife and hold her dear. She is the other half of you and she is the representation of the calm in your home that you can carry into being a follower of Christ.

What is your home like? Is there chaos? What if you were to calm things by managing your household, starting with being the “husband of one wife”?

Unite Completely with Your Wife

Men, we are to unite completely with our wives. She was created out of us by God for us. It is up to us to reunite with her fully in flesh and spirit.

“24Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24 (ESV)

If you remember, woman was created from our rib. She is part of us physically. When it is said that “they shall become one flesh”, it is that we are to reunite as one flesh since that is where we started.

Also, take a look at the first part of the above verse. Men, we are to leave and be with our wives, not the other way around. We are to devote to her. We are to join her where she is.

I look at our boys and where they are in life. We raised them to be independent and leave our home to be on their own. And each of them have done that. Where we love them and want them to be with us, we also know that they are to be on their own. They are to experience all that is in this world with the LORD as their guide, not us.

This leaving to experience life does not end with them. Once they find the woman that is to be their wife, she is now the one he unites with to become one. He spends as much time with her that he can. He develops a deep love for her and her family. He leaves us and devotes to her.

Likewise, we did the same things in our lives. We give up ourselves for her. I am a creature of habit and comfortable where I am, but to give to and care for my wife, I had to step out of where I was/am. I stepped into a bigger role in work and moved our family 1500 miles away from my family. And then we moved again, back to within a couple hundred miles from mine and her family. And I did not think of me during that time, but her and how it impacted our household. We became one and she was the full object of my love.

Now that our boys are gone, we are back to just the two of us and since I committed to join her, we are in a great space filled with love. We are one. Our friends know that we are a package deal. When one is invited, both of us are invited. When one goes, the other is not far behind. We have united completely to one another, and most importantly, I to her.

What does the unity of your relationship with your wife look like? Are you with her cause that is the deal? What if you were to unite completely and become one with her in all aspects of your relationship?