As is the case a lot in my bible study, I find myself in the same passages time and time again. This morning in Ephesians 6. I may have written on this in before, as I have notes in the margins of my bible to the effect, but I was led here by God again and I know that means there is something here for me to learn and understand.

“⁴Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. ¹Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” – Ephesians 6:4 & 1 (ESV)

Yes, I know and did post these verses in reverse order. Speaking first to fathers to discipline children yet not in anger, but of the Lord. And then to the children to understand that the instruction and discipline of the father are of the Lord and they should obey in the Lord. These work together and both are responsible in making them work together.

I feel as though there is one-sided approaches to fathers and children. And those one-sided approaches are seen in perspective. Fathers see disobeying children and children see angry, overbearing fathers. And where perspective is important, it is also important to see things from the other’s perspective to get a sense of where the actions are coming from.

Children, we have to see that fathers are doing what they understand to be in the best interest of us. Fathers want us to be independent and successful. Do they get it right all the time, NO. Are all fathers raising us “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord”, NO. Yet, generally, fathers are acting in the way they know how. It is our role to ensure that we are obeying them “in the Lord”. We are to be following the teaching of the Lord and finding His instruction in that from our fathers.

Fathers, we have to see that children are doing what they understand to be in the best interest of us. Children look up to us to be the example of what right looks like in the world. Do they get it right all the time, NO. Are all children obeying “in the Lord”, NO. Yet, generally, children are seeking to understand the fathers instruction. It is our role to ensure that we are disciplining and instructing in the way “of the Lord”. We are to follow the teaching of the Lord and finding His obedience in our children.

Notice in the above that it is our responsibility to study and learn from the Lord what is right, regardless of which side we are on. Some of us are on both sides, fathers and children. And for us, we have double work to do, instruct “of the Lord” and obey “in the Lord”. Either way each is “the Lord” where we are to find that which is right and honorable.

Where are you looking for the example? Are you fully looking to your father or children here in this world? What if you were to look for the example of/in the Lord and applied His teachings to here in this world?