Honor for Your Parents for the Promise

As I study God’s Word, it seems as though I am coming back to the same passages again and again. God has new things for me to learn as I do. Now I know that over a lifetime, there are many days and the odds of coming back to the same passages are really good, it is just that I have been doing a dive into God’s Word over the past number of years and I have really noticed the guidance through His Word. This morning I am led back to Ephesians as I study the word “honor”.

“‘²Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise),’³that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.’” – Ephesians 6:2-3 (ESV)

Familiar passage indeed. Yet, I still learned something this morning. The parenthetical statement above, “this is the first commandment with a promise”. I had not thought of it from that perspective before. God not only gave us a commandment, but told us the outcome of keeping it. It will “go well”. God has told us that doing that which we are commanded to do will result in good things to come.

I know, well bring on the good things. It is simple, yet difficult at the same time. Saying that I honor my parents in public and even in private is one thing, but really putting it into practice is another thing all together. Honoring them is an action and not just words. I have to remember to show them that I honor them and not just tell them that I love them.

Recently, my family traveled and my mother went along with us. My mother is into her 70s and where she is relatively healthy, she is not able to keep up with us young kids (we are in our 50s, LOL) like she used to. At one point my wife and our boys went on a hike to see a site and mom and I were tagging along. We got about half way to the destination and I realized that my mother was likely not to make it. Where seeing the site would have been nice, I elected to turn back with my mother to wait on everyone to return. Mom was more important to me than seeing something that was not going anywhere. I honored her by being there with and for her.

Now, honoring our parents is not to be done for some reward. I did not think about the reward when I stayed with mom. I did not want something out of it. But thinking back to the time spent with her, I see that I may have received the reward. Things for me did “go well” as I was able to have some good private conversation with mom and connect with her away from the formal setting of most conversations. It was all, in the moment and was very real and lovely.

Our role with our parents is to honor them through our action. We are to demonstrate to them that they are indeed important and when it comes down to it, they were the first to love us and for that, they deserve our honor.

What is your approach to your parents? Are you seeing them as just another person in your life? What if you were to honor them for the position they hold or held in your life?

Leave Your Mother

“³And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, ‘Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?’ ⁴He answered, ‘Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, ⁵and said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”?’” – Matthew 19:3-5 (ESV)

Marriage is for a lifetime, and it is to be fully between husband and wife. That should go without stating, however how many out there work to hold on to their mother and their wife as being the same. Jesus is clear here that one is to leave mother and devote themselves fully to their wife. It is now the husband and the wife on their own, carving out life together as one.

I would be remiss in ignoring that one would like his wife to be similar to his mother. I know that Lori and my mother are similar in their love of me. But, that is really where it ends. I do not expect Lori to care for and guide and nurture me as I did my mother when I was a child. I have moved to Lori and all of her.

I am not saying that we should cut our mothers off, that we should ignore them for the rest of our lives. What I am saying is that mother have done their jobs and have handed us over to our wives. My mother is still important, yet now, my wife, Lori has taken her place in the priority list of my life.

Where is your mother in your priority list? Do you still have her at the top of your list just below God? What if you leave your mother and approached your wife as the single most important one just below the LORD?

Jesus’ Mother

I was caught a bit off guard this morning as I was studying. You see, I have been reading and studying the words “father” and “mother” and have been found, and worked to fully understand, that the LORD is the Father and Mother that I should be leaning on as I progress in my relationship with Him. And then I read the passage below and I am caught taking stock in it all.

“⁴⁶While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. ⁴⁸But he replied to the man who told him, ‘Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?’ ⁴⁹And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! ⁵⁰For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.’” – Matthew 12:46-50 (ESV)

I know that Jesus had a mother and brothers in this world. Here we find that they have come to visit with and speak with Him. Jesus, in true Jesus fashion, finds this opportunity to teach. He acknowledges them and then proceeds to add them to the group. Jesus knows that Mary and his brothers are important, yet they are no more important in the kingdom of heaven than any other. In fact, they, the group, fall into the same importance of being heirs with Him to the kingdom of heaven.

Jesus sees His earthly mother as an important person in His life and upbringing. He loves her dearly and she does Him as well. But, both of them know that she is just an earthly figure in the plan of God. Mary was the chosen one to bring Jesus into this world and then she turned Him over to God and took the place of a follower of Christ as she knew the greatness that He was.

My mother is my sister in Christ and where she cared for me when I did not know how to care for myself, she eventually turned me over to Christ and stands beside me as my sister. I love her dearly and she me, but we are now the brother and sister of Christ and we stand together serving Him.

I opened this post indicating that I was caught off guard this morning. This was quite the good thing as it drove me into more thought and study. What I know in this world is just that, in this world. The kingdom is heaven is my home and I have a whole slew of new relatives there. I am now the brother of Mary, the earthly mother of Jesus, and Shirley, my earthly mother. Each of them as well as I have taken our place as the sisters and mothers and brothers of Christ.

What is your relationship with Christ? Are you now the brother, sister, or mother of Jesus? What if you were to live as adopted brother, sister, or mother of Jesus in the kingdom of heaven?

Love God More Than Mother

“³⁷Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” – Matthew 10:37 (ESV)

I was led to the above verse before as I was studying the word “father” that. My learning then was that I have to remember to love my heavenly family more and know that the LORD is more important to me than my earthly family. Here I am again as I study the word “mother” and the learning is similar.

As I have written before in my post, “Mothers are from God”, they are here to comfort, guide, and nurse us in our time of need. And that is it, they are here, physically, and in our time of need. Where I love my mother and would not trade her for anyone, I need the LORD more now than I need her. And that is the way it is supposed to be.

Lori is the mother to my boys Bryson and Aarron. Both of them are grown men now and they live on their own. Lori is still their mother, yet she is not a part of their day to day as she was when they were much younger. It is expected in our house that the two of them seek the LORD for their comfort, guidance, and nursing now. Don’t get me wrong, the boys are still their mother’s babies and she loves them so much that there is nothing she would not do for them. But, they are now to lean on the LORD for their day to day and there is no ill feelings toward them as they do.

Jesus wants my love. He wants me to love Him more than all. He wants me to love Him more than mom. It is my duty to love God more than all. And notice His words in the verse, loving Him is the only thing that makes us worthy. We don’t have to do anything other than that. We love Him more than all else and we have made it.

If all I have to do is love Jesus more than all and I have then made it, what a simple thing that must be. Well, it is that simple, but that love must be a devotional love and not just the words as we see in the world today. It is easy to say the words “I love you”, it is something else to act on that love. I have to remember to act on my love for the LORD more than any other to demonstrate my worthiness to Him.

Who do you love most? Are you placing your love on or with someone here in this world? What if you were to love the LORD more than all, even your mother and demonstrate that love through your actions?

Mothers are from God

“¹⁸Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit.” – Matthew 1:18 (ESV)

Jesus’ mother Mary was made a mother, not from some act of this world, but from God. It was not something that was manifest from anything that Joseph did, or the government did, or even the church did. God made it happen.

As I was reading and studying this morning, I was reminded that all mothers are so thanks to the LORD. Regardless of the circumstances, all children are gifts of God and are a product of His plan.

I know, what about those pregnancies that are the product of some heinous act? Well, where they are heinous and may seem to come from evil, I have to remember that all mothers are from God’s great plan. I am not defending any of these heinous acts. I am simply pointing out that all things are done in God’s plan. We may not understand His plan and may be, and have a right to be, angry with God in the moment. But I also have to remember that His plan is greater than anything that I can even conceive. In fact, just the pregnancy of Mary with Jesus was quite the controversy in the day. She was not married to Joseph, only engaged to be married.

Mothers are from God. They are gifts to the world as comforters, guides, and nursemaids. I have to remember this everyday and know that regardless of the circumstances, God makes mothers with purpose. I may not understand the purpose and as Joseph did in considering everything, we should as well. All will be revealed in God’s time, but the one thing we should not question is whether it is in God’s plan, because it always is.

What are your thoughts on mothers? Are you looking at them as just a birther of people? What if you considered that all mothers are from God and that everything is in His plan?

The LORD Comforts as Mothers Do

I remember as the boys were growing up and running around with reckless abandon. They would go 900 mph (seemed like it at least). All was well until that inevitable fall and scraping of the knee and palms of the hand. Out came the waterworks (at least when we were watching), and they would come over to the parents. And who more importantly would they come to, the momma. And what would she do, hug them and kiss it and suddenly it was all better.

“¹³As one whom his mother comforts,

so I will comfort you;

you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.”

— Isaiah 66:13 (ESV)

My knee scrapes may not be much on the physical side any more, but I still need comfort, the hugs and the kiss to make it all better. The LORD is here for that now. I can go hard for the LORD and know that when I fall, He is there to comfort me and hug me and kiss the wound to soothe.

Who are you leaning on to make it better when you fall? Are you out there trying to do it all on your own? What if you were to come to the LORD for comfort, hugs, and kisses, as He is always there?

Wisdom Through Reproof

It is good to be corrected when we are doing or have done wrong. It is in the correction that we learn.

“¹⁵The rod and reproof give wisdom,

but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.”

— Proverbs 29:15 (ESV)

It would be great if we were to be able to learn all that we need to know without any instruction or correction. The real world does not work that way. We will make mistakes and should embrace them so that we might learn. Notice the verse above, a child that is left on their own without teachings and learning from their parents is a child that is not going to be on the right path. It is important that we are out there learning through doing and making mistakes.

Now I know, not all of us have those parents that teach us the ways to move forward, and in some of those cases, there may be parents that are tearing us down for not knowing. In those cases, I am sure that there was or is someone in our lives that will take on the role of the parent to teach once things do not go as planned.

I am pretty sure that those who have made mistakes, were corrected and moved forward are those who have done pretty well in the world (and I am not speaking of monetarily). I just had a conversation with my mother about my youngest son and his decisions in life. He chose to join the Navy after trying two years of university. He learned to give things a try and learn from them. He failed, although he did not give up. He continued to look forward and learn. It was fully his decision and as we speak to him we can hear that he feels as though he has made the right choice. He learned from his failure and carried it forward to the now and into his future. My mother is proud of the learning that he gained and of the learning that I gained to lead him to continue trying and learning.

God has given each of us those in our lives who point us in the direction we should go and correct us when we get off track. The LORD gives us the ultimate direction, yet it is those parental figures in our lives who hold us to account to move that direction. It is the reproof or correction from those parental figures that gives us the defined direction.

What direction are you going? Are you just plowing ahead and continuing to move with reckless abandon? What if you took a moment to listen to the parental figures around you and learned from the mistakes you make to press forward in the direction that God has for you?

Don’t Despise Your Mother

This morning, as with all mornings, I prayed for God to give me wisdom that I might read and be able to apply His Word. As I continue to study the word “mother” I was brought to another passage in Proverbs that does not seem that much different from the last, only this one focuses on me a little more.

“²⁰A wise son makes a glad father,

but a foolish man despises his mother.”

— Proverbs 15:20 (ESV)

I know, the last passage I studied was about the foolish son being a sorrow to his mother, so yes, it did involve me. But, here I see that it is my thoughts and feelings that are the focus. I have a mother that I love and she loves me. It is difficult for me to feel any other way, or at least think of feeling any other way.

There are those out there that may not have the same relationship with their mothers and I do not expect that everyone would. I know those who have a very close relationship with their mothers whereas mine is not one where we talk every week. My oldest son in fact is one that speaks to Lori at least once if not multiple times each week, and that is great for them. The thing is that the relationship is there as is the love.

We do not have to have relationships like everyone else with our mothers. But, we do have to be wise enough to love them. It is the action of love that I am talking about, not the emotion of love. We show them that we love them as opposed to telling them. Words are that, just words. Remember the saying of old, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”. Well, words won’t hurt us, and they may not make us feel better, either. And sticks and stones, they may break bones, but they will also demonstrate healing.

Show mothers that we love them, if not for their sake, but for our own. Do not despise mothers, love them through our actions so that they can “see” them and will attribute those actions to the love we have for them.

What love do you have for your mother? Are you working through words and hoping that will do the trick? What if you showed love through action to demonstrate your love for them to see?

Don’t Be A Sorrow to Your Mother

“¹The proverbs of Solomon.

A wise son makes a glad father,

but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother.”

— Proverbs 10:1 (ESV)

I know that I have disappointed my mother on a number of occasions. The thing is, that in the moment, I was only thinking of myself and did not notice until some time later when I looked back. What a difficult time those were for me. There is nothing like having your mother look at you with eyes of disappointment. I had been selfish and did not think before acting. I had overlooked the impact of my actions on others.

I want to be clear, this is not about being shamed into feeling bad about the decisions made that better your family. Like deciding to move 1500 miles from my mother with my family for a career promotion. My mother was not excited about that one, but it was not a foolish move so there was no shame in it. Even Jesus had a moment that brought fear to His mother when she could not find Him as He was teaching in the temple as a child.

It is about making decisions with thought and understanding. Not making them based on emotion and chasing unrealistic fantasy. Oh sure, we should be encouraged to dream, but sinking all of your life into the fantasy of being “king of the realm” is not a realistic dream. It is there that the sorrow felt by a mother is realized.

Mothers love their sons and daughters. They may not show it in the way that we want sometimes. They may not show it at all and frankly it may have wavered and disappeared entirely, but at some point, the love was there.

By and large, mothers want to see us as successful. That success is seen from their perspective and when they do not see it, they feel sorrow. It is not up to us to do things for our mothers, but it is up to us to help them see things from our side so that they will be able to turn those frowns upside down and feel joy once again.

Our move 1500 miles away, led to an opportunity for my mother to experience something that she really only dreamed of before. And, we did move back closer and are now only about 200 miles away, close enough for a day trip. All in all the move that was disappointing turned to be a move that drove joy. And, remember the fear Jesus’ mother experienced when she could not find Him, imagine the joy in her heart when she did and realized that He was fulfilling His call.

We are charged to do the work of Christ, wherever that work may take us. And when we are focused there, we will bring the joy to our mother. When we are doing the foolish thing, that will bring the sorrow.

What are you out there doing that your mother is watching? Are you doing the foolish thing that brings sorrow to her heart? What if you did what is right by God and guided your mother’s understanding of it to bring joy to her heart?

Mothers for All

This morning I was reminded that it is not just the biological mothers who make an impact on the children of the world. It is those mothers out there that place themselves in the place of caregiver to the children.

“⁹He gives the barren woman a home,

making her the joyous mother of children.

Praise the Lord!”

— Psalm 113:9 (ESV)

When I read this verse I thought of those little old ladies in the neighborhood who were always entertaining the kids. I also thought of my grandmother, and where she was not barren and did have children of her own, it was later when she was the caregiver of my nephew for the first few years of his life. And I thought of the ladies that taught in Sunday school and made such an impact on the lives of the children there on Sunday mornings and anytime she interacted with those children. I thought of Lori, my wife, as she teaches and interacts with the children in her classes and in the school who later in life bring smiles to her face when they see her and tell her of all they have accomplished.

The LORD’s design was for man to care for the world, as noted in Genesis in the creation. And God created Eve to be the mother of the world. Women are precious to the growth and development of the world. Even when they have not been blessed with biological children, the LORD has blessed them with motherhood of those in need.

We all are in need of mothers. Some of us have biological mothers who were/are the caregivers in our lives. Some of us have biological mothers who were/are not caregivers and may not be the ones to impact us positively. Some of us have those surrogate mothers in our lives who love us and care for us as a mother would/should. In either of these cases, God has provided a mother for us that we can count as our own. There are mothers for all of us and all of them have children they can/will bring joy.

Who is your mother? Are you looking to only the biological mother to bring you joy? What if you recall the one mother who impacted your life in a joyous manner?