Tag: Divorce

Husbands, Stay with Your Wife

This seems like the right thing to do as isn’t that how it was set up in your marriage vows, “til death do us part”. I have come to see that divorce or leaving a spouse seems to be just as common as marriage itself (not really, but seems so). According to The Pew Research Center, around 34% of U.S. marriages end in divorce. The reasons for divorce are different, but think of that percentage, 3 out of ten marriages end in divorce. That is a pretty high number in my book.

“10To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11(but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife. 12To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him.” – 1 Corinthians 7:10-13 (ESV)

According to God’s Word, Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, husband and wife should stay married. Wives should not separate or divorce from their husbands and likewise the husband should not divorce their wives. Notice that in these four verses there is no exception, in fact Paul does say in verse 11, that there should be reconciliation.

I am speaking to my fellow husbands here. We are to love our wife and stay with them. Even when things seem bleakest between you, there is always room for reconciliation. We have to look backward to see the good. We chose to marry our wife for what we saw in them before. They are still the same as they were, we have likely stopped looking at or for that in them. Look intently for that again to rekindle that which was there at the time of our marriage to our wife.

“15But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.” – 1 Corinthians 7:15 (ESV)

Now, is there cause for separating/divorcing our wife or husband, yes. But even in those times, there is still room for salvation and reconciliation. But, if it is so that the wife is still unbelieving, even throughout and after evangelizing to/with them and they choose to leave, let them go and get back to your focus on the LORD and what He has for you.

Notice that Paul gives a single verse to mention a reason for separation or divorce. Will there be tough times and challenges that befall our marriage, yes. The thing is that with God in our lives and at the center of our marriage, all things can be overcome. Look back to your marriage vows, we agreed to devote ourselves to our spouse and love them through it all. That devotion does not stop when things get a little rougher than we expected them to be. Husbands, stay with you wife through it all and allow God to work.

What does the marriage life look like? Are you in it as long as things are going good? What if you look back at your vows and see that you agreed to stay with your wife (or husband) through it all, so allow God to work in your marriage?

Stay with Your Wife

“31It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” – Matthew 5:31-32 (ESV)

What a lesson from Jesus here in the Sermon on the Mount. Divorce is for those who have been in a sexually immoral relationship. Not those who just are not getting along, or those who are having trouble financially, or those who are not happy with the way the other is running around town. We are called to love our wife and stay with her.

I know what some are thinking, what about other scenarios where there is danger and the like. Notice that Jesus does not call on those things as a reason for divorce. According to scripture, we are to work for reconciliation and divorce is the last resort.

“10To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11(but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.” – 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 (ESV)

The only other viable reason for divorce is when there is abandonment from Christ. In such cases, again, reconciliation should be desired and the unbeliever should work to find their way back to Christ. But if that is ultimately not possible and the unbeliever leaves the believer, then divorce is the last resort.

“15But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.” – 1 Corinthians 7:15 (ESV)

All of the above is to say, stay with your wife. You found one another and have been at it this long, the oneness that you created with you marriage is something worth fighting for. There have been many times that Lori and I have not gotten along or had some life altering thing between us. But no matter the thing, we also had Christ and one another to fight for and those certainly win out.

“24Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24 (ESV)

We are called to leave our father and mother and join our wife in one flesh. That is not for the moment or in good times, it is for all time and every moment. We are to stay with our wife to the end.

What is your view of your relationship with your wife? Is it on that is only there for the good times? What if your approach was biblical and you worked to stay with your wife as one to the end?