Desire Creates Difficulty

Is there anything wrong with desiring something? I would not think so on the surface as it seems that desiring, or having a goal would be the way to go. After all, should we not have aspirations to achieve greater things.

“¹⁶To the woman he said,

“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;

in pain you shall bring forth children.

Your desire shall be contrary to your husband,

but he shall rule over you.”

— Genesis 3:16 (ESV)

This morning as I begin a new study on the word “desire”, I start out in Genesis and the fall of Adam and Eve. Here I see that based on the disobedience of the two of them, there were consequences. Yes, the one that we really look at mostly is that now they have seen good and evil and have been removed from the garden as a result of their sin against God. And, there is the beginning of sin for the rest of the world. But there was more.

Looking into the above verse, and with regard to the word desire, I have found difficulty. Thanks to the sin of the woman (she had not been named yet), she would seek things that are different than Adam and would have to understand that Adam would “rule over” her.

Now, depending on the Bible version you are looking at, you may see the word “for” as opposed to “contrary to”. This tripped me up a bit this morning as well. It is not until you look to the statement of ruling over that you realize the conflict between the two. That conflict is based on the desires of the two. The conflict is the difficulty in the relationship. They had been together for a while and all was working out great. Then there was the fall that created a wedge between them and God. In consequence for that wedge, there would also be a conflict between the two (man and woman) going forward. She would “desire” to go one way and he another.

This “desire” was the thing that began or created the difficulty. Man and woman would forever be seeking different things. You may have heard of or read the book “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” by John Gray. Now I am not going to get into the book except to say that even the title says it all. Man and woman are vastly different and that difference is the reason for the difficulty in the relationships. Prior to sin, man and woman were partners and companions and helpers to one another working together in the garden for the glory of God. They were there working to attain one goal. And then the fall, and now man and woman sought different things.

I think of my relationship with Lori and over the past 28 years, we have had our ups and downs, and we certainly have different desires. Our marriage is not easy, but it is worth it. We know one another well and as such, we move in sync a lot of the time. But that desire difference is always there and it does and will forever create difficulty that we have to work through. And work is it. Desire creates difficulty that has to be worked through. I have to remember that Lori and I are different and that we have to continue working through things daily.

Whether relationships or aspirations for other things, desire creates difficulty. The old saying “anything worth having is worth fighting for”, certainly applies. Desiring things and achieving them is not easy. There are challenges that will arise and in order to achieve, one has to get through the challenges. Know that your desire will likely be different or “contrary to” someone else. You will have to work it to achieve it.

What do you desire? Is that which you desire different than someone else? What if you were to realize that it was created that way thanks to the sin of man and woman in the garden and that to conquer the desire we have to fight through the difficulty that was created?