“15For he says to Moses, ‘I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.’ 16So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy.” — Romans 9:15-16 (ESV)
God provided salvation out of mercy for me, not due to my works. First, I was saved young in life and at that point, was not out looking for salvation through my works. I was simply living life and was offered salvation and I accepted. So I did not really have the chance to accomplish a lot in the way of works to “earn” salvation. Second, as a sinner, I will never be able to “earn” salvation. I was, am, and always will be a sinner and that makes me not worthy of God’s grace, yet he gives me grace thanks to His mercy for me.
Lately I have been struggling with things not seeming to ever go right. I feel as though I am ignored and no matter the work that I perform, I am not even acknowledged for my existence. Oh, there is the cursory, “thank you” that comes out of politeness, yet there is no recognition that I have actually done something that others did not. In fact, there are those who are fully recognized and celebrated for simply doing what is expected of them and therefore I have gotten to the point of “why keep doing it”.
As I look into it all and work to understand, I have come to the conclusion that due to my continued doing more than what is expected, I have simply raised the bar for what is expected of me. My doing of the work, no matter how much I excel and take things to the next level, it is simply now the new expectation, FOR ME. And if I happen to miss one of those things that are clearly out of my scope, because I had been doing them before, I have somehow failed in the expectation.
“10And not only so, but also when Rebekah had conceived children by one man, our forefather Isaac, 11though they were not yet born and had done nothing either good or bad—in order that God’s purpose of election might continue, not because of works but because of him who calls” – Romans 9:10-11 (ESV)
I know, this is a lot to read into, but let me wrap up my thoughts. I have to be comfortable knowing that I have done the work. I have to also know that no matter the work, God loves me and provides grace for me. He does not look at my works as the payment for my salvation. He looks at my works as the result of my salvation. I have to do the same. Others not recognizing my worth I have to put behind me. I have to remember that they are not the one I am glorifying, it is God, and He has called me, and provided me salvation and grace through His mercy.
What are you trying to “earn” through your works? Are you looking to your works as somehow the definer of your worth? What if you accepted that God does not look at your works as the payment for your salvation, but rather the result thanks to His mercy?
Trevor's Thoughts 