Leave to Become One

“³¹Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” — Ephesians 5:31 (ESV)

I have seen this verse before in my study of “leave” and that was just a few days ago in Genesis. I wrote to “Leave to move forward with another”. I was speaking of pursuing your wife and leaving your family behind to devote yourself to her. Here I am looking at it again and see something else that I thought was of note, becoming one.

This concept of becoming one seems to be counter to a society that speaks to individualism. If I am to become one with another, how is it that I am an individual? I understand the question, and when you look at things from only one perspective, it is something that may be a bit counter. I hold that it is indeed not counter to society in that being one with another is having the same values and approach and understanding as the other, not that you and the other cannot be different.

Lori and I are very different people. She is outgoing and enthusiastic and loves to be in the thick of things. I on the other hand like solitude and quiet. We are however one in that we are headed in the same direction. We decide together on those things that are of importance. We go together as opposed to separately. We support one another in all that we strive to accomplish. We are one.

I encourage Lori to take time for herself and do those things that she wants to do, and she does the same with and for me. I want her to be her and enjoy the things she enjoys. I need that time as well. But, when it comes to our values and direction we are one. Our church home changed, not by one of us, but both. Our drive for our boys and their study and college of choice was of the same accord. Our care for those around us is aligned and we are one in those actions.

I left my family to become one with Lori, and she did the same for me. We press forward as one unit in those areas that are of importance to the two of us. We are still individuals and we would not take that away from either of us as that is what gives us the ability to see things from different angles and adds to the alignment in decision making.

What were the reasons for your leaving with your husband or wife? Are you aligned, or are you clinging to the idea of being an individual? What if you looked to be one with each other and allowed your differences to show the other angle to aid in moving the right direction for the one that is the two of you?