“8Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, 9yet for love’s sake I prefer to appeal to you—I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus— 10I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment.” – Philemon 1:8-10 (ESV)
The book of Philemon, Paul’s letter to him, “is about reconciliation and relationships between Chistians” as noted in the introduction of my ESV Bible. And these verses are indeed a big part of that reconciliation. Paul is leading in a very big way as the example of our approach when faced with difficulty and conflict.
What I see here is the different approaches to getting something accomplished. There is the way identified in verse 8 as a “command” from someone of authority, or there is the way identified in verse 9 as an “appeal” from someone in a similar position.
I see the first too often in my work, in the world, and frankly in just about any situation where something is “needing” to get done. The “leader”, and I use that term loosely, hears of or knows of something that should be accomplished and takes the chance to demonstrate power by telling others to get it done. In so doing, the result is that it may come about, but the result is not sustaining and the relationship between the two, leader and others, is not sustained or built in any way. What you have is a machine, the others, carrying out the programming of the operator, the leader, and nothing more.
The second is a much more effective way of getting things accomplished. There is the appeal or ask from the leader. That which needs to be done is something that may or may not be done by the leader and therefore the leader is asking for help. Not from a position of authority, but from the position of equality. This appeal is out of love and not of power.
Now when you only take in verse 8, it seems as though Paul is telling Philemon to take Onesimus back with open arms. When in fact as you continue to read the entirety of the sentence, he is asking as a fellow Christian, and not forcing anything on Philemon at all.
I see this opportunity as a learning of the importance to our approach as leaders for Christ and brothers and sisters as Christians. I have to be bold enough to not shy away from the conflict or difficulty. I have to come forward when something is needing to be done for the glory of God. But, I have to have the love to appeal and not command. I should be asking for help as opposed to demanding compliance. I have to be bold in my approach and loving in my appeal, as the example Paul gives here, and the example Jesus gives through His life.
What is your approach to leadership as a Christian? Are you one that stands and tells others to take up a particular action? What if you were to approach the need boldly and appeal for help lovingly instead?
Trevor's Thoughts 